what does it mean to be someone’s friend

shuge luo
shuge luo
Sep 9, 2018 · 2 min read

july 23, 2018. I wrote this in my phone

things that I value in a relationship

open mindedness- that you’re curious about the world, new ideas and open to discussion/dialogue

mutual respect- symbiotic growth. we should both feel great about being with each other and that we are holding one another accountable

reciprocity- both sides are taking the time to sustain this relationship, they are initiating mutual time spent together, checking in on one another, being genuinely curious about what the other side is doing

trust- that you are a vaulted person. what I share with you that is personal and confidential sticks with you. that you respect my privacy and don’t push further when I don’t want to share

accepting- that you forgive me for my mistakes and help me grow. that you be kind to my current self.


being the new person is not new to me. I’ve done it many many times.

But I discount that those many times were in the past. And that being new the past year is different from being new this new school year.

making friends is a long built process.


I’ve had so many conversations this past week but most of them off a script.

name. major. year. residence. hometown. hobbies. clubs. classes. the day.


I met a student last week who really heard me out. They were incredibly kind to me. They asked

What do you really want from your friendships?

It means a lot to me when she asked because it meant that she cared. I started crying and said I just want to be heard and I wanted people to be my friend.

Be my friend and ask me how I’m doing.

I think I’ve decentralized my friendships enough that it’s hard to have an intimate relationship with anyone. A friendship in which you really keep up with each other’s day to day, not just the major life updates.

School is supposed to help because there’s more proximity and frequency.

I need to be patient.

shuge luo

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shuge luo

everyday i'm in awe of the world

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