One year to change my life. One year to save my life.
It is April 2020. By the time April 2021, I will be healed, happy and healthy.
Introduction:
I am not really sure why I am writing this down, or even sharing it with the world wide web. Maybe it’s to hold myself accountable, to ensure I take action rather than just thinking about taking action.
It’s good to have people on the journey, they say, so I thought why not take people along for my journey. What is this journey? Honestly it’s a journey to completely change my life, to save it even. That may seem a little dramatic but I will give you a little background to explain where I am at in my life right now.
Strange times
The world is in a very strange place right now. Most are working from home, not able to leave the house for anything other than exercise and essentials and for myself and many others being put on paid leave from work. It has given many people more time than they ever have had and in my case it has been a real reality check. Recently I have been seeking treatment for depression and anxiety. It all crept up on me last summer where distractions could not longer mask the fact that I was unhappy- severely so. Living, working and studying in a city away from my family had taken its toll and just before the UK went into lock down I had decided to move back home to try and tackle the dark thoughts, loneliness and overwhelming sadness. It was only after the lock down started and I had so much time to think that I realised that I could never really remember a time that I had been happy (for many reasons including a childhood trauma) and I really wanted to change this. I do not want to wake up in a year’s time feeling exactly the same, or worse.
No quick fix
I am aware that happiness doesn’t come overnight, it is going to require time and a lot of work on my part. One of my goals on this journey to happiness is to lose weight, Although I believe that you do not need to be skinny to be healthy, I have recognised the impact my weight (I am over 200ilbs) has on my self esteem and the way I view myself. So this is something I need to work on. I have a condition called Polycystic ovaries which makes it a little harder (but not impossible) to lose weight and also has a high risk of depression so I will be trying lots of different things to work with my body,rather than against it.
Next steps
I plan to write a weekly reflection about all the different things I am trying (1 0r 2 a week). This will be things from eating more healthily, taking a daily walk and listening to a daily affirmation. Little habits that I hope to build on weekly so in 52 weeks time I am the person I wanted to be. I am going to practise lots of self love and the overall aim is to drastically change my mind sets and the negative thoughts are overpowered by the positive. Although I am hoping that this does not just turn into another weight loss blog, I am aware that this will be a big part of my journey as I want to look in the mirror and truly like what I see.
Are there any things you have tried that have had a major impact on your life? Let me know in the comments!
