Washed-up businesses & CEOs of such
Some assholes lack originality or ingenuity or are plain insecure, twisted “business-men”.
Sell them a jargon like making the business & management lean, this is what they interpret & preach it as:
1. Core Strategy: Don’t have any or do not reveal it to others except who nod their heads or pat his/her back. Keep it to yourself, because in the end: the only “strategy” is to make as much money as soon as possible. Do whatever it takes to achieve this. Oh, but do keep a semblance or resemblance of a “vision”, lest the talented, hard working, giving and committed folks see through the bullshit. Make them work like bulls, but in the end do not care as who said there was ever a “vision”. If ever one of these folks do point this out, just say it loud 3 times to the self (in the restroom mirror), and once to the “foolhardy” inquirer: “Dude do you really understand business? We gotta adapt according to business “needs”. Keep doing what you do best. Do I ever ask or tell you how to do your job?”. Walks away, while the inquirer dumbfounded but sharp mumbles: “You would even do that, interfere and micro-manage, but only if you could do what I do, giving, caring and being reliable, each day through the year, year after year. You can’t. However, common-sense tells me you are wavering.”. No listeners, no takers, walks away, hoping one day his/her work will not be wasted but will be used by a saner mind. Maybe next quarter, he/she thinks. Gets back to work.
Sounds like a strategy.
2. Core Culture: “Culture? What is that? Sounds like pussy-lore. Why don’t these guys get back to work after lunch? Where is the work culture? Gotta work weekends to make up though or how would the invoices be sent out and salaries be paid? Oh, and dude please cancel your scheduled leave, you see your colleague, she too did so. Learn some. Commitment, does it not exist anymore? Can’t I rely on decent and normal work ethic?
And yes, you, how sick were you yesterday. Couldn’t you pick up the “urgent” call at 3 a.m. when all systems are down and you are the “only” one we have ever hired and never trained, you self-learned, hard working fool. This is the reason we split the salaries and pay you guys a month late twice a month. Suffer you fools, suffer in your indolent, inefficient ways.”
3. Hiring and Developing Talent: “We will hire once we “need” and there is enough money to attract the big-shot. You know once that happens we won’t need these untalented assholes who I keep paying month after month. That will change the way of this business. And truly blessed and talented folks train and develop on the job. Just have to throw them something: if they can, well and good, goes into my, err.. the businesses’ portfolio and we get more work and make these guys work harder, I mean that is your job after all; if they can’t well forget it, it was never meant to be, I always knew they are not good enough. We aren’t in academia and this isn’t a school for heaven’s sake. Get real. Training, what?”.
Pretty lean isn’t it? Now suck it or gulp it.
“My job gotta be easier than these workers, I gotta be able to breathe easy and plan my next big overhaul, fire the one who is bitching and find another unassuming, untalented one. Don’t worry, will work, will not get salary or due leaves.
I am the CEO, right?”