Failed Business Idea #74
I have a confession to make. I love thinking about becoming an entrepreneur someday. Pretty normal right? I mean what’s there to confess? Well, I don’t want to become one immediately, but at the moment I just love fantasising what it would be like to be one. Someday.
As you can imagine this is not a very productive use of imagination.
You see, right now I have a pretty well functioning and predictable life. Wake up – Go to office – do some comedy – Come back home. Repeat.
Sometimes work gets stressful. Waking up on time becomes difficult. Comedy material seems stale. And I forget the way back home. It happens. Every now and then perfectly working systems do malfunction.
This is when I start thinking “how awesome would it be to be an entrepreneur right now?”
EVERYBODY and their grandmothers are doing it. Why not me? After all I’m in India’s start-up capital; Bangalore. There is one problem though. I lack two very important aspects to become an entrepreneur (a) a business idea and (b) balls. Make that three very important aspects.
This is where my highly coked up imagination comes into play: “hmmm why not take failed business ideas and make them profitable?”
Followed by: “I’M A FREAKIN’ GENIUS! I’M SURE NO ONE HAS THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE. WHERE’S MY MILLION DOLLARS?”
So a few days back I sent out a tweet around a “Failed Business Idea”. Naturally, as all my tweets, it got zero traction. You can see from the screenshot below that there were “two” engagements (detailed expands apparently). I’m sure one was from me and the other was from my mom.
Let’s talk about this idea for a second.
Sizzler takeaway. Is it really a failure? I can imagine logistical issues for delivery executives. For instance the Swiggy bike would need to be followed by a fire engine and an ambulance. Also you and your entire Brahmin neighbourhood would know that your beef sizzler is on its way, a kilometre away from your house.
However, if we can fix these aspects then we would have a superb business model. It’s just the matter of taking a cantankerous dish from the kitchen of Kobe Sizzlers to your doorstep.
Here’s what my brain on meth proposes to fix the above issue:
- Ditch Swiggy. Hire the bomb squad. They’re free most of the time so why not use their expertise in handling volatile substances. Please don’t hire their sniffer dogs, for obvious reasons.
- Get sizzler plates / packaging with bad acoustics. If we can insulate the sound we have solved half of the problem.
- Use the steam from the sizzler to send messages to the client. In old Native American cultures, tribesmen used to leave smoke signals to communicate with other tribesmen miles away. We can learn from this and implement it. It doesn’t harm to learn from our elders.
- Change the education system and make it more open minded. This way, you would have progressive neighbours who are OK with someone eating beef sizzler at the confines of their home.
Failed business idea? Not any more if I can say so!
You can send me the million dollars to my Twitter handle @bonerjee
