Adventures of Mooman: Ep 04 - The Burger Backlash

A cow that was abducted by aliens returns to earth with superpowers to fight crime and injustice.

Tihar Jail, Delhi, India

Our beloved caped superhero, Mooman, walks out of Tihar Jail after handing over a notorious Drug Lord to the Jail Superintendent. A lot of people had gathered to witness the event.

“We love you, Mooman,” someone yelled from the crowd.

“Mooman, Mooman,” chanted the others as they cheered on.

As Mooman was reciprocating her supporter’s love by waving back at them, a female reporter managed to get close to her, “Madam Cow, do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

“Since you are polite and charming, go ahead” Mooman smiled at her.

“How do you feel about the crime rate decreasing in the country since your arrival?” the reporter asked.

“I feel very good that my superpowers are coming in handy and that I have been able to help the nation,” Mooman answered, her pink top shining in the bright sunlight.

The reporter quickly jumped in with another question, “Any message for your critics?”

“What critics are you talking about?” joked the Cow, as she pointed to her screaming supporters.

“The Men Appreciating Cultural Heritage Organization a.k.a. MACHO has said and I quote, Mooman is a disgrace to our society, she flies around flaunting her nipples, which is against our culture.” The reporter replied.

“MACHO should mind their own business instead of being worried about udders,” Mooman laughed at her own joke. “But seriously how should I cover them? Should I pull my t-shirt down or my pants up? Also every time I squirt my radioactive milk on the bad guys won’t it burn holes in the fabric? No one gave a damn about my nipples when they were busy squeezing it for dairy products but now that I am a superhero suddenly they have a problem with it.”

“Those are some very good points,” the reporter nodded in agreement. “What about the allegations from Women Empowerment Group of India a.k.a. WEGI, they say that you are a bad role model for girls since you call yourself Moo-Man even though you are of the opposite sex?”

“That’s just vague-y, if you ask me,” The Cow winked at the reporter. “There is ‘man’ in ‘woman’ does that make every woman a bad role model?”

The reporter laughed loudly at Mooman’s answer, “You are such a delight Mooman, do you mind meeting up again for a quick chat, nothing serious, off the record stuff, just for a coffee? There is even a McDonald’s near our news office if you want to meet there.”

The expression on Mooman’s face suddenly changed, she looked flustered, she mumbled something before saying, “I have to go,” and flew away cutting the reporter off.

“That was weird,” said the cameraman accompanying the reporter. The reporter looked glumly in the direction the cow had flown away.

Gaushala, Mooman’s Secret Hideout, Somewhere in Uttar Pradesh

“I am sorry you had to go through that,” Gopalji said to Mooman who was lying down on the bed with her eyes closed.

“It brought back a lot of bad memories,” she replied slowly. “I always knew I would have to face it someday but I guess I was just not ready for it.”

“What those p…p…plutonians did to you was terrible,” Gopalji said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“I have to get over it,” Mooman said boldly. “I can’t let the past dictate my future, just because they threatened to turn me into a burger every day I can’t get scared every time I hear McDonald, I have to grow stronger.

Gopalji’s eyes grew wide as he stared at the TV in front of them. Mooman looked at Gopalji before turning towards the TV.

BREAKING NEWS: Dwarka, the reporter who interviews Mooman, gets kidnapped from outside her office.

19th Floor of Under construction Building, Sector 77, Noida, India

Five men were discussing on the unfinished floor of the under construction building.

“She keeps saying she doesn’t know,” said the burly man with a thick mustache.

“Keep interrogating her,” said the gang leader. “Mishraji has promised us a big reward if we can get him what he wants.”

Just then a swift wind blew through the floor, throwing the kidnappers off balance.

“What was that?” asked the leader; the other kidnappers raised their guns, looking around for the source of the wind.

“Moo,” a voice from behind startled them.

The kidnappers turned around to face the caped cow.

The guy closest to our heroine raised his gun only to get burned as it melted between his fingers due to the milk he had just been squirted with.

The burly kidnapper’s gun went flying as our savior’s tail slapped him hard across the face.

The remaining three kidnappers hesitated for a moment before openly shooting at Mooman, who fell to the ground.

The three kidnappers then surrounded her. “Stupid cow, you are finished.” said one of them.

“Why was Mishraji worried about her?” asked the shortest of the three remaining kidnappers.

“Superstrong hide,” Mooman quickly got up and punched the short kidnapper in the face with her right hoof. “Now you better hide.”

She then grabbed the head of the remaining two kidnappers and banged it against each other. Mooman quickly rushed to where the reporter was being held, tied up in the adjacent room.

“Don’t worry I am here now,” Mooman said, removing the blindfold from the reporter’s eyes.

“I knew you would come,” Dwarka, the reporter said weakly.

“Relax, don’t say anything,” said Mooman, untying and picking up the reporter in her arms. “I will take you to a doctor first.”

“I didn’t give them anything,” Dwarka whispered slowly. “They tortured me, but I didn’t tell them.”

“You didn’t tell them what?” Mooman asked nervously.

“Your weakness,” Dwarka replied softly on the verge of collapse. “I played back the tape multiple times, I realized your expression changed when I asked you about McDonald, I knew it must be somehow related to that. But I didn’t say anything.”

“You were very brave,” Mooman said beaming at her. “Rest now, I will make sure you are safe. They might come after you now, they will think I have a soft corner for you.”

“Do you?” the reporter asked faintly.

“Do I what?” asked Mooman.

“Do you have a soft corner for me?” Dwarka asked, batting her eyelashes slowly at the cow.

The cow longingly stared back at the beautiful eyes in front of her. “I guess I have two weaknesses now.”


Sketch created by Hannah Johnson