Adventures of Mooman: Ep 03 - The Master of Thieves
A cow that was abducted by aliens returns to earth with superpowers to fight crime and injustice.
Gaushala, Mooman’s Secret Hideout, Somewhere in Uttar Pradesh
Gopalji walked across the big house towards his beloved daughter’s room carrying a newspaper in his hand. He knocked once on the big door as he opened it to enter a huge bedroom.
“Beti, did you read today’s newsp…p…paper?” Gopalji stammered as he asked the cow who was lying on a bed covered with sheets watching TV.
“No, babuji, I have been binge watching shows this whole time. There are so many great shows I need to catch up on.” said the cow, our beloved Mooman.
“There has been another robbery,” Gopalji said as he walked towards Mooman, “This time it was the City P…P…Palace Museum in Udaipur, he got away with Maharana Pratap’s Battle Armour.”
Mooman shrugged as she got off the bed to take the newspaper from Gopalji. “That’s a case for the Rajasthan Police. I can’t go around catching thieves. I have other important things to do.” the cow said as she quickly turned off the TV with the remote in her hoof.
“I agree, you should not meddle in P…P…Police investigations.” Gopalji nodded, he then pointed to the newspaper that Mooman was now holding. “But read it, the person who stole the armor calls himself the “Master of Thieves” and he has threatened to destroy the armor unless you meet him in person.”
Mooman started reading the story her “father” had been pointing to. “This is ridiculous. I can’t give into such demands.” the cow said after she finished reading.
Gopalji just stood there looking expectantly at his adopted daughter, he had never forced her to do anything against her will.
Mooman finally said. “Maharana Pratap was a national hero, we can’t let some petty thief destroy his legacy.”
“Beti, I knew you would make the right choice,” said Gopalji glowing with pride. “And yeah one more thing, with p…p…p”
“I know,” Mooman interrupted. “With power comes responsibility.”
“Huh,” Gopalji looked puzzled. “I was just going to ask, with p…p…paneer makhani do you want plain naan or butter naan for lunch.”
Abandoned Warehouse, Udaipur, Rajasthan.
Mooman had arrived at the warehouse where the Master of Thieves had demanded she meet him in person. She scanned the empty warehouse for any sign of the thief but there was no one there. She then saw a table upon which laid a note. Mooman picked up the note and started reading.
Hello Mooman, I am eagerly looking forward to meeting you. However, I am sure the police must have followed you here and for my own safety, I had to take some extra precautions. You will find the real address of my location on the back of this letter, read it once and destroy this letter by eating it. I am watching you on CCTV as you read the letter. If you do not eat the paper and leave right away, I will disappear forever and destroy Maharana Pratap’s armor.
“What a jerk,” Mooman murmured to herself as she looked at the back of the letter for the address. “Making me eat a piece of paper, when will humans stop treating us like trash cans.”
Tanot, a small village in Rajasthan, near India-Pakistan border.
The address had led our mighty superhero to a secluded house by the side of a small village road.
Mooman entered the house where she was greeted by a man who offered her a chair to sit, he seemed to be the sole occupant of the house.
“Would you like some water?” asked The man.
“Let’s get to the point,” Mooman said.
“I wanted to ask you some questions, If you answer them honestly I will hand over the armor and we can just go our separate ways.” said the man, as he smiled.
“Why should I answer your question?” Mooman threatened as she got up. “I can just grab you by my tail and take you to the police.”
Unfazed by Mooman’s threat, he calmly replied. “My accomplice is expecting a call from me every ten minutes,” he took out the cellphone from his pocket and kept it in front of him. “If he doesn’t hear from me he will destroy the armor.”
“You have planned this well,” Mooman said. “What do you want to know?”
“They don’t call me Master of Thieves for nothing,” said The man, still smiling. “I want to know how you got your superpowers?”
“I was abducted by aliens from Pluto,” Mooman answered. “The experiments they did on me and the prolonged exposure to their environment resulted in me acquiring these powers.”
“But why did the Plutonians abduct you?” asked the Master of Thieves.
“They wanted to take revenge because Earthlings had decided to downgrade the status of Pluto from a regular planet to a dwarf planet,” Mooman explained.
“But why abduct a cow?” asked The man. “How is that taking a revenge?”
“The Plutonians wanted to take away from earthlings the thing they cherished the most. According to their research, the answer was ‘God’. But since they could not find ‘God’, they decided to settle for something less,” Mooman clarified. “Their research also told them that around 1 billion people worshiped cows. So they thought abducting cows will cause earthlings a lot of pain.”
The man laughed. “That’s foolish, no one cares for a stupid cow.”
“I have answered your questions,” Mooman said. “Now hand over the armor.”
“Like I said, stupid cow,” The man said. He then picked up his cellphone and looked at the time. “It’s almost time.”
Suddenly Mooman started coughing and panting. The man laughed again as he saw the cow struggling to breathe.
“Die, stupid cow, die,” The man said. “The paper you ate in the warehouse was poisoned. Now that it has broken down and entered your system you will die a painful death.”
Mooman looked horrified as she looked at the man still struggling to breathe, she was now down on her knees.
“I have made a deal with scientists across the border who want to study your body.” The man continued. “I just had to keep you busy till the poison acted up. I wasn’t interested in your lame origin story. As for the armor, it is right here in this very house.”
Mooman quickly got up and punched the man with her right hoof. The man fell to the floor as some of his teeth flew across the room, he looked up at her. “How?” he managed to say thru his bloody jaw. “You are supposed to choke and die.”
“Oh, believe me, I was choking,” Mooman replied. “Choking on your stupidity.”
The Master of Thieves tried to comprehend the situation his head still buzzing from the punch.
“A cow has four compartments in her stomach,” answered Mooman. “One of our compartments, reticulum, allows us to bring back things which are hard to digest so we can break them down again.” as she said that she spat out the paper she had eaten in the warehouse.
Udaipur Police Head Quarters, Udaipur, Rajasthan
“Thank you, Mooman,” said the Senior Police Officer in charge of the case. “You have the gratitude of all the Police Departments across the country. The Master of Thieves had troubled us for a long time.”
“He will trouble you no more,” Mooman said. “Master of Thieves is now Master of None… no no Master of Naan.” she then started laughing loudly as she flew away.
“What was that?” asked one of the junior police officers present at the scene.
“Son, with great power comes the audacity to crack such bad jokes.” The Senior Police Officer replied with a straight face looking at our Superhero flying away into the sky.
Sketch created by Hannah Johnson
https://www.etsy.com/shop/HannahJohnsonArt
