Stuff and thoughts
Those were really the first words I could muster out of my scattershot brain as the call from the US to Germany went through. I was calling him, my best friend, to wish him all the best on his engagement. I can’t remember being that lost for words in a long time and the fallback onto something so simple bridged the emotional and mental joy I was feeling.
I’ve watched him grow up for most of my life. Going as far back as the fifth grade when we first met and now into our early-mid 20’s. He’s always been there for me. A phone-call or short bike ride away.
When I was a kid going through some rough spots with family and schooling his friendship was a refuge from the hardships of a life that at the time just seemed a little too unfair to someone at that age. Whether it was a round of video games on the PS2 or later the Xbox 360, spending summers in Spring Creek Park building dams underneath that old wooden bridge, biking to the UniMart just because or later in life going out to a bar and unwinding with copious amounts of alcohol as a temporary escape from the clusterfuck of growing into adulthood.
And all I could say to break the ice on years of friendship was “Dude… congrats…”
As he grew up I was there for him as he battled some personal issues. Always a doofy distraction or a friend to listen. I make a good distraction. And as he’d do things like Magic the Gathering or get lost deep into the hard fantasy of Tolkien I’d just listen to him talk and try to explain ideas and concepts that just went over my head. I think he knew I didn’t understand most of it yet sometimes I think just having someone there to listen made a difference.
Countless hours of Halo 3 around the launch of the Xbox 360 helped the bond between us actually. Yes. Gaming is completely fake. But in the moment when both of you are focused on the goals under fired you get to know quirks unseen and unknown when you’re just a kid doing things like LEGO’s. And years later, across an ocean, we still have a weird mindsync when gaming where we don’t even need to talk to know where we are.
Just knowing that you have someone who is willing to listen to some small bullshit whatever or get deep into inner-personal fears and crises makes a difference.
And as our conversation progressed we laughed. Told some jokes. Talked. About life and stuff.
Being 24 and 23 respectively we still have so much of a life left to live and yet this life we have lived has been rewarding. It’s like all the terrible shit we have both gone through somehow rewards you later in life. Seeing Konrad go from such a dark place to a point where he found love, upended his entire life on that hope and making it work.
I wish I had more words to describe that.
It makes me want to see the rest of this life through. I’ve got maybe 50yrs if I’m lucky. Time to figure it out. Time to discover stuff and someones who will change myself for the better. Who knows?
Why bother overthinking a life full of uncertainties?