Dear Charlie,

Again, thank you for your raw and honest writing. Reading your words delights my hearts always that there are other people, especially men (I have not had many pleasant experiences with them when it comes to emotional vulnerability), who are willing to put themselves out there and not wear masks.

I’ve been away from writing myself for the past three months because this is a very transitionary period in my own life where I have been exploring a committed relationship. I hadn’t been looking for a relationship since the past year and a half because of the same philosophy, “Be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.” So I was working on healing through therapy, through support group meetings and of course, my Medium writing.

However, when love came — unwarranted and unasked — I welcomed him with open arms and tried giving him more than my 100%. Obviously we’ve been experiencing ups and downs because of the fact that I am not “perfect” and I wasn’t “perfectly ready” for him to enter my life. That I still haven’t completely healed and I still fear that my shortcomings will shatter this fragile relationship, God forbid. But I guess this is where finding the right person means so much. They fall in love with the whole of us including the broken us. They don’t despise our scars but kiss them because true love is unconditional.

Hahaha! I need to write a proper post about this but as you very aptly concluded, “At some point, I think we have to try,” because life is a journey of trial and error anyway.

You should look up Kahlil Gibran’s poem called “On Love.” Exactly my recent philosophy on love these days. Hence, yeah! In response to your question, Can You Love Someone Else When You Don’t Love Yourself? My experience in the past three months warrants a YES!