A Daydream Disguised as a Divorce

Sierraceo
Sierraceo
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read

I didn’t dream of marriage like most little girls. My idols weren’t Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. There was a never a glass slipper that I hinged my desires upon. I dreamt while watching National Geographic and chased Carmen San Diego around the world. Imagining myself climbing the Himalayas and swimming with whale sharks.

Looking back it is a mystery to me as to why I didn’t leave home sooner. I wouldn’t leave my hometown until 25 and didn’t leave the country for 5 more. I walked down the petal filled isle of my grandmother’s backyard, all eyes on me, a dad on both arms, my brother strumming along to a beautiful ballad as I was handed off to my soon to be husband.

It didn’t take long for the dreams to come back. They were painful reminders of a love lost, of lands unexplored, and pungent foods left unsavored. Mornings felt lonely even with the warmth of a man beside me. I was all in, three meals a day, 401K, and a husband who had a far better time exploring worlds on his dual screens.

My dreams started turning black, I was plagued with betrayal, waking up so disturbed and dismayed that a man I gave my desires could chose another. I’d brush them off while making his coffee just so. A spoonful of sugar but not too much cream. I told myself it was just a dream, until that day. The day he said he was in love with her too, I was surprisingly cool. Lying there in an oversized king bed at a conference in Las Vegas; I convinced myself it was just a dream and this was just as good as any vacation. But goddamn, my dreams are always right.

The bitterness slips from my page as I sip my artisanal tea in a foreign seaside town. A daydream disguised as a divorce. Wishes of a childhood girl coming true.

Photo credit: Andrew Calisterio — Instagram @boozehoundcc

Sierra Rasmussen is Chief Empowerment Officer and Authenticity Coach of Empowerment University. She empowers women to gain confidence to live their dream life by guiding and supporting them on their inner journey. The belief that the true source of happiness and success comes when you live authentically is at the foundation of her coaching. As a woman who has overcome a wide range of adversity from heartbreak, layoffs, overwhelming debt, and sexual abuse, Sierra proudly embraces the role as a lighthouse for women showing them that their dream life is possible. She can be found grobletrotting on Instagram @sierraceo and sharing how to live a more authentic empowered life on Facebook @empowermentuniversity.

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