I'm leaving you behind.
Its time to say goodbye. I’m leaving and I think you should know. This isn’t “see you later” or “I’ll be back soon”. It is final. Its the last time we will talk.
By the way, this isn’t a prayer. You see, I am no longer interested in a relationship and that isn’t going to change. I need to be done with you forever.
You have meant so much to me for so many years. My identity was lost in you. That is how you liked it. It is abuse. It is manipulation. It is the destruction of my soul…
Learning from my friend Cliff.
Not long ago I sat down with my friend Cliff and asked him some questions about growing older. Here is our conversation and how it has impacted my view on aging.
I sat in Cliff’s living room and looked around. Hanging on the wall were pictures of him and his family. There was a bookshelf that had Knick knacks and old keepsakes. The coffee table had a stack of newspapers on it and a pair of reading glasses. In the corner of the room was a TV with the news playing silently.
Everything seemed to…
Everything he does tells his story.
“Finn, I love you!”
He smiled at me and puts his hand to his mouth and kisses it. That’s his way of saying, I love you.
My son is nonverbal. He turned three last month and has never spoken a word. He is not mute or deaf, but he has other developmental issues that prevent him from speaking.
Finn has a long list of severe medical conditions that limit his ability to live a “normal” life. Normal. I kind of hate that word. It reminds me of what I already know. My son is not normal. …
Because parenting is never as simple as people imagine.
Parenting is challenging and it will mess you up.
Life with children is complex. It doesn't matter who you are, it is complicated, challenging and often overlooked in our culture.
It is one of the most important jobs in our world yet it constantly undervalued and minimized. It is has a universal purpose from culture to culture, yet everyone thinks they know best how to raise a child.
However, the reality is that no child is the same and no parenting system is so perfectly crafted that it will fit every circumstance. The pressure to meet society’s description of parenting is strong. We want to overcome that.
Parents deserve…
Prove me wrong.
In my part of the world, there are four distinct seasons. Each has its appeal, but to me, one stands out above the rest.
Fall.
You can call it Autumn or Harvest, but I call it Fall. Fall is the best season, its not hard to prove.
This all started yesterday when I realized that we are two-thirds of the way through August and September is coming.
September is when Fall starts. If you are thinking, “like, duh”, I’m not talking about the 21st of September, I’m talking about September 1st.
If you are like me, Fall starts at the…
Why it still matters.
As a society, we should always be reaching for what will make us better.
The way we choose to live today impacts our likelihood of developing a future that includes a healthier society. However, we all have different views on what that means.
Exceeding the status quo is more than just inventing a new way to eat cereal in the morning and surprisingly it's not about who the president is in 2021. It is about staying woke.
The term woke has been highly debated and often criticized.
It is a slang term that has been used to describe those who are aware of current issues especially when it comes to racism.
If you are not woke, then you are unaware of important issues in…
How do I answer her hard questions that I can’t answer for myself?
I love taking my daughter on long trips. We have really great conversations while driving. Life is busy and slowing down to really talk is hard. But on road trips, we are stuck together for a long time.
Sometimes we talk about silly things like stories she has read or games she plays with her friends. We laugh, we joke, we listen to music and she tells me all her light-hearted drama.
But other times it is more serious and we discuss hard thoughts on life and her expectations of the future. It sounds so clean and composed when I…
Paddling at night is a deep breath for the soul.
I paddled slowly out onto the lake.
It was dusk and the water was flat. I dipped my paddle slowly trying not to disturb the water. I wanted to be one with this world. I needed to feel like I was part of the environment.
I was sitting on my paddleboard with my heels dangling in the cool water. It was approaching dark and I wanted to be near the middle of the lake by the time the moon came out.
As I slowly drifted further out, bats were zigzagging around my snatching up bugs off the surface. They were zigging and zagging past me without coming…
Women inspire my daughter to overcome her medical complexities.
My daughter needs heroes. Doesn’t every eight-year-old?
My daughter’s health is complicated and often suffocating. She needs things to remind her of all that she can be. After all, there is much in our world that tries to hold girls back.
Of all the things that try to hold her back, men won’t be one.
Religion, culture, society, government. You can call it what you want but in reality, it is just male-dominated culture. Men are most often what hold women back. Our world has decided that power is for men. …
I miss my “normal” life.
My life is complicated. Every day is a struggle and its no one’s fault. Hardship snuck up on me and I didn't realize how easy I had it until everything changed.
I used to enjoy the little things of life, without even really knowing they existed. They were just part of my lifestyle. No one told me they were a luxury. I just assumed they were a normal part of life. And now I miss them.
Three years ago, my twin boys were born at twenty-four weeks gestation. That is sixteen weeks earlier than a “normal” pregnancy. …
Sigourney Humus
Parent of Three Medically Fragile Kids and Trans AF.
