On breaking the quarter

Things are different to how I would have pictured them to be ten years ago, even five, maybe. I thought I would turn out to be a highly accomplished woman traversing the globe on business meetings, having coffee in different cities.

Life, however, is not as glamorous as one would picture it to be at a young age.

I’m twenty-five, but I hardly feel accomplished in a colloquial sense. Barely loved another soul so one could say I haven’t seen much of this world as yet. I have felt pain though.

Immense pain through heartbreaks of other kinds. Watching my parents fight, struggling to make ends meet. No one tells you of the struggles of life at the tender age of 15, when anything is possible in your eyes.

On the other hand, I’ve embraced my sexuality and developed a sense of confidence that took a number of years to muster. With such confidence, also comes a sense of aloofness, almost cold, barely feeling.

At 25, I’ve lost and gained friends in the most shocking and unassuming ways. It was a period of reflecting on the ease with which people enter and leave our lives — I hope to god the people in my life now remain.

A period of discovery and rediscovery — I can only hope it continues to be so. A one of confusion, garnering of self confidence and self worth.

At 25, there is little to be said but more to be felt.