D5 | The Struggle

It’s real alright.

They fear, that I’ve lost my sanity in a bid to win him back.
They fear, that I’m throwing away my pride, all in the name of revenge.
They fear, that I’d eventually knock myself out with my relentless ramming on his door.

But I am not.
Believe me.

It hurts, to be thrown into the unknown from my comfortable spot; without a warning nor a sign. If there had been a fight, I would have seen it coming. But because there were none, I simply cannot accept the outcome.

Instead of choosing to wallow in self pity, and to spend (possibly) the next few months just pondering on where did I go wrong, I’ve decided to direct that energy into getting him back.

I don’t believe in a happily ever after for us this time round. I really don’t. But there are countless reasons why I’m still doing this anyway.

I do hope to eventually learn to let him go.
I do hope too, that he will eventually realise he should never have let me go.

There is much to be learn from this.
But in the mean time, my heart needs time to mend.
And spending time away from him isn’t going to cut it.

No more playing cool this time ‘round.
I choose to stay and fight, to imprint my presence in his memory forever.