I’m currently writing an article very similar to yours. The message is perfect and I’m very intrigued by the fact that you don’t consider yourself poly, that’s the way I feel too! I feel like the poly community tends to hold polyamory as the one true way of doing non-monogamy.
It’s so ridiculous and sad that such a mundane act like having sex can destroy a 20-year-old relationships. We should really learn to forgive and renegotiate our relationships when these things happen, instead of following the cultural script, pack our things and leave.
I love what you said about jealousy, I’ve seen very few people talk about it the way you did. I’m saying over and over again that jealousy can be rationalized away, like other irrational feelings, but people like to firmly hold on to it and for some reason they think they’re entitled to make their partners obey their irrational feelings.