You can’t redefine reality to suit or preferred ideological viewpoint. Your definition lacks the distinction between where a perception of an individual ends and where a problem begins. Without that distinction, there is no such thing as mental illness and those who converse with motor-vehicles on the highway are completely sane and we should respect their wishes and perception of reality.
The thing about perception is that we’re not really inhabiting the Earth as you are accustomed to believing. Without your senses of touch, smell, hearing, and sight, you can only perceive the world through energy and the effect it has on our own bodies, like a shiver down your spine or the feeling you have when someone stares at you. At that moment, your perception will be about 1% of reality. Perception in that context is not emotional but habitual.
Emotional and intellectual development dictate how we interact with the world and how we learn and develop. Every responsible parent knows when to stop their child when they’re throwing a tantrum or when they try to physically harm themselves. Not doing so, will constitute bad parenting and will result with an emotionally stunted child who is scarred by the lack of empathy their parents had for them.
You have every right to call them names and dismiss their right to be who they are, but don’t pretend to be tolerant and compassionate.
Well, does their right to be who they are outweighed anyone else’s right to believe in reality, in biology, and in common sense? They have the right to call themselves what they want and associate with whomever, however, they don’t have the right to force that preference on others.
Compassion is an illusion. It’s a way for people to virtue-signal their ideological position, to get acceptance in society. Most of the compassionate people are doing the exact opposite, playing along with people bad ideas and making the lives of the people they have ‘compassion’ for, worse.
You might want to try empathy. Empathy dictates a higher level of emotional stability, without the need to succumb to a person perception of reality and playing along with a behavior that is harmful to him.
When a trans person changes their gender and lives a new life according to how they feel — who they believe they are — they’re creating a new reality for themselves.
How they feel is irrelevant. It has no bearing on reality. Especially when they refuse to work for that reality and force people to play along with their perception, making laws that will punish those that don’t agree with them, and shout very loud at people that they are transphobes, and bigots, and transmisogynists, among other unoriginal words. Once upon a time, there was a concept of “live and let live.” It died somewhere along the line where some ideologies started dictating how people should live their lives.
They don’t have that right and people should not play along with those ideas. They are vile and oppressive and exist as a way to create political leverage.
Like in most discussions on the topic, you start at the position that your opposition is bigoted and expect that person to explain to you why they are not bigoted. My position is different, if you call me a bigot or any other derogatory word without cause, then you are an asshole.