My Body Is Soft And I Love It That Way

Because softness is exactly what the world needs more of

Sílvia Bastos
Jun 25 · 3 min read
Photo by Billie on Unsplash

I used to hate my soft stomach, my flabby butt cheeks, and the cellulite on my thighs. I used to cut down as much as possible on fatty foods and I worked my ass off doing sit ups, push ups, and all kinds of exercises that I didn’t enjoy at all.

But very slowly, my beliefs started changing.

Nowadays, I am more and more certain that my body is a merely a vehicle for my human experience in this world. Yes, feeling beautiful makes that experience more fulfilling, but this does not require my abs to be defined and my thighs to be hard as a rock.

Actually, I realize more and more how much I would dislike that idea, because my body would be the exact opposite of my soul.

I am not a hard person. I don’t thrive when I hustle and fight for ever-increasing productivity. I prefer compassionate, kind language, rather than severe or dry words — you’ll find me much more open to listen that way, as well as to speak that way.

I prefer long walks and gentle stretching over radical sports and running marathons. I prefer a great book and early bed over a crazy night out at the club, and I prefer gentle, sweet love making over wild sexual fantasies.

If I prefer softness in all areas of my life, why would I prefer the opposite when it comes to my body?

What could possibly make me happy in spending hours at the gym and obsessing about my food just to have a perfectly toned body? Because you see, hardness—of skin and muscles as well as of character and mood—doesn’t come naturally to me. It requires an extraordinary effort from me to shout at someone, wake up at 5am every day, and get six-pack abs.

But I am fortunate, as unlike what I felt in the past, hardness is no longer something I desire.

I have accepted softness both as a gift and a life mission. I love that my breasts are plump, as long as my body is flexible and the food I eat nourishes me and energizes me. I love that I can hear someone else’s sharp words, and that my soft surface can take them in and bounce them back with twice the love and no offense taken.

But don’t get me wrong: softness is not weakness.

My soft body is healthier than it has ever been. I no longer overfeed it to compensate for weeks of obsessive undernourishment. I no longer skip menstrual cycles due to physical or emotional stress. I run as much as I used to and I don’t lift weights, but I have doubled in conscious breathing, balance practice, and yoga (not as in trendy hot yoga or sweaty, calorie burning, high intensity vinyasa classes, but as in union—of mind, body, and spirit).

My soft character is stronger than I’ve ever seen it. I no longer refrain from speaking due to fear of hurting or disappointing, because I know I can speak with love. I set my boundaries clear, because I know how to communicate them compassionately. The words I speak from a place of love and gratitude and kindness have allowed me to influence, help, and reach more people than my anger or hardness ever did.

Softness is acceptance.

Love your body as it is, not as you think it should be.

Love your lovers and friends and family as they are, not as an ideal that exists only in your mind.

Speak with kindness. Aim for vibrance. See the beauty in the details, and let your loving-softness change the world.

Did you know you…?

One of the greatest tools I use to keep cultivating a soft, loving, flexible mind is my daily journal. Check out my blog,

Sílvia Bastos

Written by

Journaling my way to happiness. I’ll show you how here:

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade