The Reality Of My Creative Process
Why I feel the need to write every day
I am doing my very best to publish a post every day.
Boy, it’s hard.
I am not doing this as some kind of challenge. I have no plans for monetising this effort. I have no strategy at all. There is no agenda. I am doing this because it’s good for me.
It’s a bit like exercising.
You know it’s good for you. You have all the best intentions wanting to do it as regularly as possible. You get excited during the build up. You end up dreading every single moment of it, but when you are done you are happy.
You know it was the right decision after all.
Why Are Doing This To Yourself?
Writing for me is exactly like that. I feel that writing a bit more consistently would be good for me. It helps me with my English. It allows me to give shape to my thoughts. It’s an awesome distraction from work. It allows me to express myself and connect with people.
It sounds amazing. Every day I look forward to the moment I’ll be able to sit down and write. I’d say it’s one of my favourites parts of the day. Reality hits me every time I sit in front of a blank page.
What should I write about? What will people think if I write this? This paragraph is utter crap. This constant and nerve wracking internal dialogue goes on until I hit that publish button. I end up convincing myself I can’t write. That just the idea of me blogging in English is bonkers. That I have nothing to say. That people will laugh at me.
I believe all those things. But I hit that button anyway.
My blog is for me what his Pensieve was for Dumbledore. Sometimes all the thoughts I have feel like too much. I need to pour them out. Writing is the only solution I’ve found so far.
It’s painful. Uncomfortable. Stressful. Excruciating. But when I click that button. I feel good. Lighter. Regenerated.
The creative process is different for every one of us.
I wish I could tell you that it’s always easy. Always pleasant, but I would be telling you a lie.
The creative process for me is the most beautiful and the most frustrating part of the day. But it’s exactly the process what makes it worth. No obstacles mean no satisfaction.
Facing difficulties and tough internal dialogues are exactly what makes it meaningful. It’s a process of growth that starts when you decide to not give up. When you decide that nothing will stop you. That you’ll find a solution. In that moment, you are growing through your creative side. You are becoming a different, improved version of yourself.
That’s the creative process for me. A place where I can express myself. A moment where I can be myself. The ultimate training ground for my personal process of self-improvement.
This is what matters to me. The blog post itself is just the output. It’s just an artefact that reminds me of the struggle I went through producing it.
Nothing more than that.
The creative process is self-awareness. It’s self-improvement. It’s freedom. It’s the ultimate form of expression.
When you think of it in those terms, neglecting it feels brutally inconsiderate.
When you think of it like in those terms, you might start understanding why I am doing my best to write every day.
In case you’ve missed my last post.