There’s Always A Silver Lining
Lessons from the worst month of my life
Comfort is your true enemy.
There is nothing more dangerous than being caught in a position that is too comfortable. A position that doesn’t force you to improve, to struggle, to live.
Feeling uncomfortable is painful. It’s awkward and you wish you were in a better situation. In a more comfortable situation. The thing is, when you are in that spot outside the comfort zone. That’s where the magic happens.
A month ago, my life got rocked big time. I turned up to work one day and my friend and business partner communicated me he intended to leave our company. I felt shattered. I felt like my entire life was crumbling around me.
The following couple of weeks have been especially hard. My mood was super low. I struggled to sleep and eat. Dealing with anxiety was becoming an issue. I felt so awful that I went to see my GP. I was genuinely worried for my health. The doctor’s diagnosis was simple and straightforward.
After a shock like that, dealing with mild depression and anxiety is a normal reaction.
The word shock was key here. I dealt with the whole thing as if it was just a bad day at the office. It actually proved to be a true shocking experience. My world hasn’t been the same since. It feels weird every day. Everything I’ve worked for the past 4 years has vanished and I felt a massive void. This feels uncomfortable. This forced me to react. This showed me a whole different side of things I’ve never considered.
This whole experience felt like being thrown under a massive bus. I try to look at the bright side, though. Being in this situation forced me to lose all my excuses and protections. It left me naked, facing my deepest fears and my biggest insecurities.
In this situation, I could either give up or react.
I decided that giving up didn’t fit me. I don’t like quitting. I don’t like feeling sorry for myself. I’d rather fail while fighting than not even trying.
Friends Will Be Friends
This was one of the lowest moments in my life. I was in pieces, but this allowed me to look around me and notice how many friendly faces gathered around showing me some support. Whether it was a phone call, a smile serving me my coffee or offering me a desk where I could work from. People cared about me and this, weirdly, surprised me.
I am a very introverted person. I don’t want to use this as an excuse, but I struggle to make new friends and to keep cultivating my existing friendships. It’s not that I don’t care, I am pretty bad at forcing myself having a lot of interaction. This wave of love and help really touched me. These people made me feel less lonely. They made me feel like they had my back. They made me feel like I had something to fight for.
Connecting and re-connecting with people opened me a new world. They had perspectives I never even considered. It allowed me to see things under a completely different light. This brought new excitement to my day-to-day life. It wasn’t sorrow. It was a motivating challenge, new prospects and new ways of looking at things.
Mr. Brightside
Being thrown into a very unfamiliar situation, with new challenges to face, has made me realise how unpredictable life is. Nothing really lasts forever. Everything can change at any time. At that point is up to us how we react to that. I have learned on my skin that the only thing you can do is to look at the situation and find the positives. Understand how you can use everything that happens to you to improve.
I am trying to face every challenge life puts me in front of as a chance to learn something new. Every day I have to deal with things that scare me. Things I never did before. Things I have avoided. Now all my excuses and protections are gone. Now I have to deal with them and I see them as the perfect time to work on my weakness. Learn new skills. Refine old ones.
I won’t say that this is easy. This process is very painful and scary. I am still trying to deal with my problems the best I can. Every day is a new battle and sometimes turning up and fight is hard. I still go through highs and lows, but the lesson I’ve learnt is super valuable. Don’t let any situation overwhelm you. Look at it in a rational way and find the bright side.
My Way
The worst thing about living entirely within your comfort zone is that you risk to give up a lot. You give up things out of fear of losing that sensation of safety around you.
I ended up compromising on some things for the sake of preserving the status quo. Scared of a discussion or scared of finding myself outside my comfort zone. I ended up drifting away from my core ideals. You tend to compromise in the name of a more peaceful life. That’s human nature.
This isn’t always wrong, but in my case meant that I was forcing myself into becoming something I am not.
This whole situation made me realise a lot of things. How I would have loved to try different approaches to things. How my ideas were marginally different to the core ethos of my own company. How this made me drift away from my true self.
That is not acceptable. This whole situation gives me the opportunity to have a fresh start. To do things my way. Make mistakes my way. Build my world my way. This feels good. A bit scary, but good.
The End
I wouldn’t have had the chance to think about all these things if nothing had happened. I would still be living my routine. Doing things I only partially liked. Not evolving as a person, as a human being.
This experience has been like jumping in a cold pool during a scorching hot summer day. The first sensation is freezing cold. You feel uncomfortable, you regret jumping in. After a while, though, you realise that the new scenario is not that bad at all. It’s refreshing. You feel better and you wonder why you didn’t jump in sooner.
