It’s time to stop caring…

(Originally posted on July 4, 2016)
There is so much going on in the world, it can be hard to truly get a sense of how we should be responding to it.
This week alone, the following stories and challenges caught my attention and “demanded” that I respond in some way.
Brexit.
Mass shootings in the U.S.
A 13-yr old Israeli girl was gruesomely murdered.
Twenty hostages in Dhaka were killed.
Wales defeated Belgium in Euro 2016.
P.K. Subban was traded out of Montreal.
Some are obviously far more serious in nature, but all generated conversations.
What is amazing is how I engaged in these discussions, and the learning that come from realizing what that looks like.
Based on social media alone, it is clear that the most dire, the absolutely most critical of all of these stories is…
Pk. Subban being traded. Which is followed by Wales defeating Belgium.
Why is that? As I reflected on this, I realized that, of course, I do not care more about PK Subban being traded than a 13-year old girl being killed. And I certainly do not care more about Wales winning a football match over the continuance of mass shootings in the U.S.
And no sooner did I ask the question did the answer come to me.
When you think about the risk I would expose myself to by engaging in ongoing discussions on the more sensitive issues, the opportunity for me to hurt my reputation in a meaningful way over the long haul is significantly higher on these issues.
My thoughts on PK? Who cares? We engage in a heated debate, you think I am ignorant about what the Montreal Canadiens’ are doing, and we all move on.
My thoughts on the murder of a 13-yr old girl? Well, I won’t share them here (although you can rest assured, I am disgusted and livid), but the deeper reflections that I have on this would be seen as personal attacks by some, a distortion of the past by others, and a delusional utopia by those who refuse to engage in these discussions at all.
But why? Why does this risk shape my discussions?
In 5 words, or less: I care too much. I care too much what you think. I care too much about what your reaction will be. And I care too much to allow you to simply reply without engaging in a heated exchange that will only further deepen your views, and influence those of others, as well.
So, in order to show that I care deeply about the issues that are truly important to our lives, that affect and shape the world we live in, that will influence the future of my children, and to actually feel free to do something about it, I have to stop caring.
I have to stop caring about what you will think. I need to go deep within myself, feel what I know to be true, and take comfort in the conclusion that I come to. And be proud to share it, act and stand by what I do. And then, should a new realization come to me, be ready to welcome that and unafraid to embrace it.
Starting today then, with all due respect, I don’t care. And you shouldn’t either.
And when you think about it, this applies at the office, or any part of your life, as well. As long as you are being mindful and applying The Golden Rule, you can’t go wrong by not caring what others think and just doing and expressing what you know to be your truth.
Let’s respect wherever the other person is in their view of the world, and care enough to share our own.
It’s the best way to get to where we need to go.
