Paul Simard
Jul 25, 2017 · 4 min read

Why don’t you just quit?

(originally posted on January 26, 2016)

Never, never, never give up. — Winston Churchill

If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds. — Jesse Jackson

These are just two of the many quotes that drive us to believe that quitting is unacceptable. That when we quit, they win. That putting in all that effort to then walk away is a sign of weakness, and failure, and shame.

Some people apply this to every part of their lives, blindly and indiscriminately.

And they wonder why they never get out of their funk, or never feel inspired.

Are there moments where you should never, never, never give up? Yes, of course. If some maniac is trying to attack your family, or your children are behaving in ways that could jeopardize their health, you have to fight to the end to protect them.

But posting some poster up on your cubicle wall as a personal mantra is not only silly, it can actually be damaging and leave you blinded to opportunities.

We all have moments when we have to deal with toxic environments, often thanks to “challenging” bosses. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and can sometimes make going to work the last thing we want to do on any given day. Sometimes, it is most days.

As a result, entire organizations can lose faith in the ability of the leadership, there is no buy-in on anything recommended, and only on the rare occasion can anything even remotely resembling innovation actually come to fruition. And when it does, it is often thanks to major influence(s) and investment from the outside, not that he would ever admit to that.

In most cases, the first thing I recommend you do is get support from other areas of the organization. This is critical to ensure that you are not overly exposed and that a way forward within the organization is possible.

In my own experience, I tried to do the best I could, insisting to myself and others that there was always one more avenue to try, another opportunity to be explored that would transform the relationship and create a truly “big win”. If we could just get them to “see the light”, they would change. I focused on the learning that this was providing, and used statements like, “I know that, coming out of this, I will be a better manager and leader for my team and for the organization.” And I believed it. I still do.

Of course, these changes can never truly happen unless they happen on their own volition. The time to move had come. But, there was one fantastic piece of advice that helped me find peace with moving on, and that is the point of this blog.

In a conversation with Professor Karl Moore, someone I consider a mentor and friend, he made a powerful statement about being OK with quitting.

“Paul, imagine that you had a friend who was going through the same experiences you are, but in their personal life. The partner is abusive, condescending, and your friend is clearly in a situation that will not change. Would you tell them that they must not quit, or would you suggest that they get out, for their own good, to save their own sanity and to live a more positive life?”

That was it. I had been applying a different set of rules to my professional life than I would to my personal one. I was letting my ego, which was sure that others would see me as having failed, and not being “good enough”, run the show. And it was liable to hurt not only my confidence, but my career. And only after did I realize that it was also having an effect on my personal life.

The cost of not “quitting” was simply too high. It took four months to transition, with the help of others, out of that role, which eventually lead to other more rewarding opportunities.

What parts of your life come with a cost that is greater than the rewards of continuing? Where can you quit so as to be more successful on something that matters?

Give it everything you’ve got, but always make sure you take the time to reflect and ask, “Why am I fighting this fight, and is it one I can win?”

If you don’t like the answer, close your eyes, and embrace quitting.

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