Magnetic Personality: Another awkward story

You know these moments when you have to question yourself: What did I do to deserve it? When you feel like it can’t get any worse and you make these stupid promises to God just to make it stop. Well, I have a story about that.

Before I start, I should warn you I tend to overreact and over dramatize the situation. I also like long descriptions, sunsets, relaxing walks on the beach…. But enough about me. Let’s concentrate on my story.

So, I had a week off from university (actually it was a “study week”, haha the irony) and I decided to fly back home to meet my parents, friends… you know the drill. It was a nice cloudy day in Holland, my flight was delayed for an hour due to the fog, and then it was supposed to depart back on time, so I could have missed my flight, but I didn’t. I really wish I did though (I’m joking, but I need to be dramatic), because the 2 hour and 50 min flight was simply horrible.

Even before I entered the plane, I could feel it coming. My flight was at 1 P.M., so none of the passengers were tired. Some of them were actually a bit drunk and very sociable. My seat number was 27C, adjacent to the aisle, somewhere about 5–7 rows in front of the toilet. On top of that, the crew was really slow. It may seem like useless information, but believe me, it will all make sense. So, you’ve probably heard about magnetic personalities, like people with the ability to attract everyone’s attention in a room. Well, in that situation, I felt like my magnetism worked only on people’s butts. I felt like I had a superpower, a really shitty one to be honest.

My superpower was progressing throughout the flight. As I think about it, I had little clues along the way that indicated that I was chosen to bear this gift. It started off ok in the beginning. The guy who was sitting on my right decided to stretch before the flight, his behind- half a meter away from my face. Then, after about 30 min, people realized that drinking involves visiting the toilet more often than usual. Consequently, a que was formed, and when I say que, I mean about 5–6 people waiting impatiently and invading the little personal space I had.

I felt terrible… I had 2 butts centimeters away from my cheek. I hated my superpower back then. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have mind having beautiful butts in my face, but unfortunately for me- they weren’t. Anyways, this is not the worst part. There was turbulence.

You know, usually people are expected to return to their seats in case of turbulence, but this was no ordinary flight. People wanted to pee really bad… The que line for the toilet was getting even longer, and in one moment, when the turbulence got really bad, a man kicked me in the cheek with his buttock. Have you ever experienced that feeling when you have hit your lowest? Well, in this case, the lowest hit me (this is meant to be a pun, a butt pun. Sorry about that), and believe me, I was about to cry.

I don’t think I have ever had such an angry face, I looked like I was about to kill. Thank God I wasn’t listening to heavy metal or something. I guess you could say that indie music saved a lot of innocent lives that day.

However, although my flight back home was awful, it was all worth it. I had one of the best weeks of my life and I enjoyed some quality time with my loved ones.

In conclusion, don’t let small things (like butts) ruin your day. Who knows, probably it is just a challenge preparing you for something good. For example my trip back home was amazing, plus I had sufficient material to write a blog about. Hope you had a few giggles.

The end.