During a process of change, growth or simply in the daily making of our work/life balance, a huge pain can show up, demanding complete attention. It is very hard maintaining focus on what — up until a second ago — used to be the centre of our mind or our strongest passion, when something so intimate and deep strikes unexpectedly.
It can be physical pain or emotional suffering, but in the context of something so important and personal that our life is separated in two: the “before” and “after” the event. Situations like these quite often cause a re-evaluation of the meaning of our existence and a need of finding new and adjusted priorities.
Once the event is over and the needed relaxation follows, it’s time to get back to what we were doing, continuing our projects and duties. This can be experienced as unreal, even fake. As if we can’t go back to our innovative, creative or productive self, just like this.
One of the most crucial things to keep in mind is
Doing little is very different from doing nothing
When we’re hurting it is almost impossible to be at our best but we need to start somewhere. In this the natural passing of time with daily tasks nudges us to give it a try so we can just start by trying not to resist. It’s like the difficult Monday morning or the first day after a long vacation, only that we’re not as relaxed and serene, but still out of practice. Once the first few steps are made the mechanism gradually starts again and through the positive support of small accomplishments we can built momentum, finding more and more commitment and energy to reach bigger goals. So here the key is maintaining small minimal aims.
The power of Meditation and Reflection
is limitless. What usually happens when we’re in pain is we will try as much as possible to avoid it, focusing on distracting ourselves in other things. The resistance is mostly based on the fear that we’ll lose control in it; it’s like entering a river being scared that the stream will bring us down, in the water, in the dark and deep abyss.
On the contrary, pain, as every other emotions, is extremely subjective so, after the first step in, we’ll gradually recognize it and we will feel at home. Do you think it is still too risky? Science could reassure you on this. A research of Wake Forest University in 2011 has demonstrated how meditation and reflective time spent with the pain have strong impact in the perception of it. The study is based on physical pain and people who exercised their meditative skills were able to experience 40% less pain than the rest of the subjects.
Of course we can’t overcome pain in one go, with one immersion. A small diving exercise a day could let us feel lighter and give us reflective cue that can really help us becoming better people, adding meaning to the experience or to our present.
So that pain can finally become exactly what you needed.