I felt the earth move…

I will have a lie in, I will have a lie in, I will have a lie in…

… I eventually nodded off to this mantra in the early hours of this morning. Despite rising at 6am for work every morning, I still manage to faff around my ‘entire-home-in-a-single-room’ until the early hours, busily achieving sod-all until I eventually fall in to bed and crash out. I have one day off a week, which I invariably fill with energetic pursuits that involve an equally early start to ensure I get out before the ever-rising temperatures reach their peak.

No such plans today though; this being the first day of an entire week off for me. Hurrah! Last night I smugly set my alarm for 10am — hopelessly optimistic that my erratic circadian rhythm may automatically defer to that of my teenage colleagues — and excitedly prepared myself for a whole nine hours of serious shut eye…

If only…

Fast (very fast) forward four hours, and there I was wide awake at 5:30am. Oh come on, please! Let me have a long, deep sleep just this once! After the usual instalment of overthinking about nothing, I opted to read to see if that would help me to prolong my slumber. Nope. Next tactic? A meditation recording. I felt like Alan Partridge in the Linton Travel Tavern, with his unsuccessful relaxation attempt using a cheesy meditation cassette, but thought it was worth a go. Bingo! Off I nodded to a backdrop of ‘Yoga Nidra’. I managed a further two hours of sleep — not bad, all considered. Still, I wanted more, and so looked up another meditation track. This all felt a little earnest and ‘hippy dippy’, but with my yoga-teaching ‘instant enlightenment headband’ close to hand, I reckoned that if the cap fits…

… quite a claim, let’s hope it’s true

Thirty minutes of breathy instructions to relax/feel my feet/unfold etc. etc. passed quickly, and although I didn’t nod off, I noticed my incessant mental chatter had ceased and I felt ok. This deep sense of peace came with a gentle rocking sensation, as though my body was shaking in its bed. ‘Wow, this meditation malarkey is powerful shit!’, I thought, concluding that even my most enjoyable experiences in India had never produced such profound results. Next up, a deep, thunder-like rumbling, followed by shaking floors… and finally, clattering window shutters. I’d produced a monster! But not quite… Not a moment of enlightenment or spiritual ascent at all, but an earthquake. By all accounts a relatively common occurrence here in Lefkada at this time of year, but my first such experience.

Shaking all over…

Ah well, nice to feel the earth move anyway, as literal as it was. Sleep? Not a chance, but I’ll try again this evening. With the help of another recording who knows what naturally occurring phenomena I might experience? Given this morning’s events, along with my recent close shave with a bolt of lightning (yes, really), the sky really is the limit!

I feel my very own meditation recordings beginning to form; ‘Contemplation for Comets’, or perhaps ‘Thought-Based Flying Pigs’ for the younger enlightenment-seekers out there.

So bear with me whilst I align my chakras, tune the pan-pipes and practice my breathiest tones. Maybe I could make someone else’s earth move…