Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a friend who dropped off the face of the earth the moment they entered a romantic relationship. Now raise your hand if you’ve ever been guilty of doing that exact thing.
It happens. When we enter romantic relationships, we seem to get so lost in our love nests that we tend to neglect our friendships from the outside world. In fact, scientific research proves that on average people who enter into romantic relationships lose at least two close friends in the process. This is because those in relationships get so absorbed in the little world they have created with their significant other, they no longer save enough energy for their platonic relationships.
Why do you think Timon and Pumba are so against Simba getting all lovey-dovey with Nala during Can You Feel The Love Tonight? It’s because their good pal will fall in love and here’s the bottom line, their trio’s down to two. (Oh).
Timon and Pumba know what’s up. They’ve seen it before and are aware of the fact that when one of your friends gets all gushy over someone, they’re gonna disappear so quickly from your sight that they’ll manage to put Houdini out of work. They meet Mr. Right and then Poof. Gone. Arrivederci. Se la vie.
You try to get them to grab a drink with you, to give you a call, to at least tag you in memes, but they always seem to be busy. When their relationships begin to take up all of their time and energy, you begin to feel as though you’re turning into a clingy friend simply by trying to bring the friendship back to where it used to be before their S.O came along.
But, as I stated earlier, we are just as guilty of disappearing at the price of romance as our friends are. I remember back in High School when I fell in love for the first time with a good friend of mine. I fell hard judging by the fact that he began to take up all of my thoughts and energy.
During the process of falling for the guy who would soon become my boyfriend in my first serious relationship, I would drop plans with my friends like it was my job to do so just to see the dude.
I remember an instance where one of my friends, Emily, asked if I wanted to go out Saturday night to see a movie. I told her I was sick, just in case the guy I was crushing on would happen to ask for plans that night. It’s not that I even had plans with him. I didn’t. I just thought to myself I’d rather potentially hang out with him than have concrete plans with a dear friend of mine.
I know. It’s gross.
Ultimately Emily called me out on my neglect, but I couldn’t even bring myself to listen to her. Suddenly, now that I had this brilliant new man in my life, I didn’t seem to care about how good of a friend I was. In my lovestoned mind, friendships were secondary while the romance in my life was my number one priority. It was my incredibly stupid belief that once I had found “the one”, nothing else would matter. Nothing, and nobody — Not even the people who had been by my side for years.
In the end, I ended up having a wonderful relationship with the dude. It wasn’t perfect, mostly due to the fact that I put way too much energy into him and not my friendships. Because of this, my boyfriend at the time felt pressured to be my best friend and significant other all at once, ultimately leading to our break up.
Now there’s nothing at all wrong with being best friends with your significant other, in fact, it is usually preferred. But if your man or woman begins to take the place of all your quality friendships, there’s gonna be a problem.
Once you rely on a single person to take the form of multiple roles in your life (such as your best friend, lover, parental figure etc.,) then it will ultimately lead to a humongous strain in the relationship. This strain will most likely leave you ending up all alone where now you will be the one desperate to hang out with your old friends who you’d previously neglected to your romantic relationship.
So the moral of the story folks is you better keep your friends close in the midst of a budding romance. There is a good chance that you and your S.O will one day break up and if you leave all of your friends in the process of love, you will end up having zero shoulders to cry on. Good friends will love you unconditionally, and you don’t want to lose that love to some bub you’ve known for all of five minutes.