The one-sided conversations.
During my twenty years of life,I have seen many people take their departure from the earthly life, people who shouldn’t have,not so soon atleast.People being engulfed by diseases,by depression.
Many tears were shed and then people became memories, distant memories safeguarded as snow globes.But some deaths one can never overcome,those which robs any amount of happiness you carry within yourself and leave you with a hollowness.My first reaction to it was refusal, I refused to believe that anything like that could have happened to that man.The man I awed and was so truly inspired with,the man with whom I had planned so many intelligent conversations.The man I so longed to impress,be called ‘beta’ and envied those who had the honour of calling him ‘father’.
A heart attack took it all away,the perfect bubble I planned,waiting for the right moment bursted with a bang and kept me numb for days on end.There was so much to do,so much to say. The talk about inspirational Facebook posts, tweets,YouTube videos that I had been tracking since years.It was all planned,but only in my head.
The grief refused to leave and those mental conversations replay in my head as they will never get any real platform.It wasn’t the death of a father and beloved husband because he will continue to live there forever,it was the death of an innovator,scientist, engineer who wanted to do some more good to the world..moreover it was the death of the daughter in me that I will never be..
We keep on waiting and planning for the “right moment” instead of making the “present” moment right and sometimes that right moment never arrives.one should learn to cherish what we have in this moment and appreciate life more and more because some ugly truths await us all.
-simran
