Leaked Letter: Behead Those Who Share Spaghetti Photos!

Dear Pastafarians,

Internet was once a peaceful place where we could advocate wisdom, hold debates and bring totally sound logical arguments, read The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster online and find liberal bloggers to lash them. Nowadays people pour Spaghetti images into their instagram feeds and to make matters even worse some write captions such as “delicious” or “yum yum”. Utmost hatred and racism.

They’re trying to show our Flying Spaghetti Monster weak, for example by taking photos of a cute little child eating Spaghetti. “Even he is more powerful than you’re imaginary Lord” they’re trying to say, not realizing our faiths will not be shattered this way.

I suggest we get offended and defend our rights. First move is to request the removal of every photo depicting any kind of Pasta (to satisfy different branches such as Penneism or Raviolism) in the internet. They will most likely reject and boast of things such as free speech, but when the first bomb goes off in Pinterest’s headquarters, we’ll get our way. From then on, even if someone’s going to share a photo of their dish, there should be a veil of light around it to respect His Holiness. A new Instagram effect could easily achieve this.

Also there are scholars who suggest we realize the dream of our ancestors and claim the oceans for ourselves to establish Floating Pastafarian State. After all, who deserves it more than us rightous followers of FSM? I say, the blood of pirates circulate in our bodies, if we all stand up we could take not only oceans, but the whole fucking universe (and it’s perfectly justified).

May FSM be with you,

P.S. Inform fellow Pastafarians via #AvengeFSM.