Sikh Girls sexual grooming and out religion relations testimony

Dilpreet Singh
May 29, 2016 · 16 min read

Sikh Girls- KAURS - are increasingly being targeted for religious conversion and sexual servitude by Muslim and Hindu men. In 2013, BBC network created a specially documentary to highlight this issues. This is a global issue and not limited to a single country, Sikh girls were targeted, misguided, blackmailed emotionally, Physically targeted, forced into love/sexual relation and in some cases outright forced through kidnapping.

Here in this article I’ll share some of the testimony we have received during one of our online project in 2011, “Save Our Kaurs” , these testimony were written and recorded by victim girls or families to highlight the issue and spread the words. Original text is posted with small modification like formatting and spelling corrections .

Story 1.

I am Amanpreet Kaur, a 22 year old girl born in Ludhiana, Punjab. When I was 19, studying BCA, I fell in love with a Hindu boy named Sameer. We would talk for hours and it was clear that he loved me back. We would always talk about living a happy life together but never really discussed religion.

Religion is a big part of life in India. Indians are very religious people. My family was religious but they hardly told me anything about Sikhism. Everything I learned about Sikhism was from the school in which I studied ‘till twelfth grade. I knew about Guru Nanak Dev Ji and his teachings and that Sikhs are to worship one God only. I knew a little bit of the history, Sikhs fighting with Muslim emperor Aurengzeb to save Hindus. But little did I knew about differences between Sikhism and Hinduism. All I knew was Sikhs do not believe in caste system and do not worship Hindu Gods like Brahma, Krishan, Ganesh, Durga, Kali etc, as mukti (salvation) can only be attained through the meditation on One God, who is above all.

Sameer told me that I do not have to convert to Hinduism in order to marry him. He told me that I can still practice Sikhism if I wanted to. Marrying a Hindu didn’t seem a big of deal to me but my parents told me that I should marry someone with the similar belief system, a Sikh. There arose a huge fight in our family but blinded by love I insisted to marry Sameer only.

Anyway, we got married. Our marriage was conduct according to Hindu marriage ceremony. Everything was going well for the first couple of weeks until his parents started forcing me to do Durga Puja (worship). I resisted but they said it is the practice of their family and I have to do it. I told Sameer and found him surprisingly in agreement with his parents. He said I can perform Sikh practices but being in their family I have to do Durga Puja. The conflict started arising not only because of Durga Puja but also due to daily Hindu rituals. For example always referring to Hindu Gods while talking, fasting for certain periods, considering fire as sacred, and much more.

They kept forcing me and taunting me and I started performing Durga Puja. I felt very awkward worshiping the stone statue of Durga. One day I decided to search the online version of Guru Granth Sahib about what my Guru says about performing other worships. I found out that Guru Ji condemns the worship of anyone else except God.

As I read more and more of Guru Granth Sahib and some of the articles written by Sikhs, my eyes lit and I was amazed that my Guru offers such beautiful and true teaching. I felt embarrassed for not knowing it until now. Everything a girl could ever imagine is in Sikhism. Guru ji gave women equal status as of men, equal rights and self-respect. My Guru made me a princess by giving me the last name, Kaur. I felt really ashamed and embarrassed having betrayed my Guru The next morning I told Sameer that I will no longer perform Durga Puja. When my mother-in-law heard this from Sameer, she became furious and started cursing me. And started telling Sameer that he should leave me. That morning I did not perform Durga Puja.

One day Sameer came home and told me to get ready. I asked him the reason and he said it is a surprise. I had no idea where he was taking me until he took me to a mandir (Hindu Temple). He had tricked me to go to the mandir to do Durga Puja. I refused to get out of the car. He kept trying and even tried to drag me. Watching my resistance, he became furious and drove back home. He did not say a word and when we went in our room he slapped me. The slap was so unexpected and hard that I fell on the ground. I started crying and he started yelling. I wept for the whole night. Slowly our marriage grew apart and we got divorced. I still regret my decision of getting married to Sameer. Sometimes our emotions make us blind and all we want to see is what suits our eyes and we ignore everything else, unaware of what we ignored will come back to haunt us.

My advice to all Sikh girls is to marry a Sikh so that there would be no room for religious conflicts [Watch a Video].

Comment: There are many other cases we knew in which Sikh girls went to different religious practice in which they have to follow tenets against the Sikh principles, like doing, Forced child birth at specific time, “tava — matching kundli”, “munnda — shaving head of their kids”, “Idol worship — worship of shivlig, Durga/Kali/Ganesh etc statue, ”, “practicing rituals like, Karvachotth, shraddh, psychic practice as instructed by pandit — like marrying a tree, animal, psychic donation based on number calculations etc.

Story 2.

Guys this is the story of one of our group member,who got inspired,and encouragement this weekend by reading posts on our group, she spitted it all out, the poison which she was carrying from 6 damn years, but still was not in right condition to write it all herself, asked me to write it for her, I tried my best but I am not a good writer, so i bhul chukk mafff karna,THE ONLY REASON FOR MY FRIEND TO SHARE HER STORY WITH US IS THAT WE CAN UNDERSTAND THERE THOUGHT PROCESSES,AND CAN DO SOMETHING SO THAT THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN TO ANY OTHER SIKH GIRL.

It all started few years back, that some one kept ringing my house number, anonymous caller, and my mother, would go over to answer the phone, but no reply. Then one day, as my mom was not home,phone rang and I answered, it was that guy from the theater . I didn’t know what to do. I was scared and yet anxious to what might happen. This was going to be my first relationship.I got to know “RAJ” over the next couple of months, we would arrange, the best times for him to call me, it was exciting, no one knew about him, I felt needed and loved. As in home there were always fights happening,my gran-always blaming my mother,for all the misfortunes happening,as my mom will not bow to her so called Radhasoami babe and my mother was always scolded,as she wished to marry me with a JATT SIKH. I was actually getting fed up of all the discussion and fights,going between my mom and gran…i just wanted a middle way out of this..and RAJ…CAME LIKE A FRESH AIR..He was 32 at the time, and I had turned 22. He drove a really nice cars and had his own business, It got to a stage were we would meet up in the middle of the night, I would sneak out of my house, he would pick me up , I did notice that he was not Punjabi, He knew a lot of Muslims, but I decide to ignore that fact, as I was having the time of my life. I had a funny feeling he was Muslim, but he wore a Kara — Sikh bracelet ???? and I never had the courage to ask him, because I didn’t want to ruin anything between us.

But finally that day came when he revealed that he is a Muslim and married with kids, I was taken back, I didn’t know how to respond, my boyfriend was a Muslim, and I loved him too much to let him go. I asked him about his name, his nickname was RAJ. he had told me his name was RAJA, but in fact his name was RAJA*****. This was a distressing situation, he had lied to me and led me on to believe he was Sikh, but was in fact a Muslim and that too married one with kids. I confronted him, I asked him, you knew I was a Sikh, then why did you get into this relationship with me? He answered my question with a question, does it matter? And I remember replying “No” after a few minutes, I thought to myself he’s not your typical Muslim, and he has treated me with respect. And he told me clearly that he is not in love with his wife,and in Islam it is allowed to take 4 wives,when i didn't agreed,he said he was already planning to leave his first wife..i didn't wanted to be the home wrecker bitch…i didn't knew what to do…few days later my gran came up with a strange marriage proposal of marrying me to a well read advocate,who happened to be a mother dad beat my he grandmother said.. sikhnian nu kutt ke sidha kita jaa sakda was horrible to see mom in such a situation. I wanted to run away from everything, but i was in middle of my education,there was no option at all…and suddenly i felt RAJ is the answers to end the sufferings of my mom…atleast she will not get that fist of my dad, five times a day. RAJ he loved me, I loved him, and I kept reminding myself, he was different, and all those good times we had during the start of our relationship.

So we decided to give it a shot, we would spend a lot of time together, he got me job in his company, everybody was loving me treated me with respect although I was a half hindu and half Sikh, and all of them were Muslim, they were so nice to me. I felt wanted and at home with me boyfriends family. I moved out of Copenhagen I wanted to live as far as away from my family as possible, as they were the obstacle, in my life from him. I had stopped wearing my Kara and my gold khanda necklace. I also stopped going to the Gurdwara/Mandir, because I did not want to offend him, I stopped answering my phone from my mom and friends, because I knew all they would say is to stop seeing him, and come home I changed my number.

I was happy then to finally be apart of something that was so great, everyone loved me, and I was finally at home and peace.Islam then offered everything to me, it made sense and was the truth, Sikhism had to many flaws in it, or that is what I was told, and I believed everything he said, it all made sense, Sikhism was a man-made religion, it believed in caste (we had Gurdwara made on caste) , while Islam would teach us to cover the women because she is so precious, like an diamond. I was duped, I knew nothing about Sikhism, my parents never told me, and I never learnt anything at the Gurdwara, never understood what the Granthi’s were saying. And as a result I believed everything he told me.We then decided to get married, but he said we should go to Pakistan to do that, because his relatives were there, and they were all dying to meet me! So I agreed, we went.

When we reached Pakistan, there were many people there to greet us, suddenly one day RAJ,CAME to my room,asked for my passport and all the personal belonging,i asked why he said police is here and they want to check our stuff..i laughed..but he was serious..anyways he came back again..nd said he have to go to Police station, i went there,they started questioning me…i waited and waited for RAJ..BUT HE DIDNT CAME…i fainted…and when i regained consciousness i saw myself in a tiny room….where was I?????it was all clear now, that RAJ is never coming back and i m never going to DK. it was a brothel, where, the locals came to enjoy themselves. I was very frightened. I remember how they treated us, they would treat us like animals, they would rape us, and then spit on our faces after they were done. It was a living nightmare, with no escape.

A time came when me and another girl, got the opportunity to escape, we had been taken to a local tribesman’s house, a fight had broken out, in his house, in the confusion we got an opportunity to escape, we took a jeep, and set out on the roads, we didn’t know where we were going, we just went, where ever the road took us. We got close to a town Called Eminabad, here we informed the police of what had happened to us, they helped us,we were handed over to the Danish embassy and sent back to the DK. Once back in the DK, the police tried to hand us back to our families, OUR OWN families rejected us, local people rejected us…but than social danish authorities helped us getting life back, I got my apartment, started uni again, got a job with danish finance ministry. I’m living my life now, but all those memories haunt me like anything..those screams of young sikh/hindu/christian British girls, i am scared of MEN,Muslims…the only thought which provides some aasra — support is something said by my friends little daughter, wear a KARA and all demons will go away. I try it works sometimes, but not all the times

Story 3.

I had decided a while ago that I should write this e-mail, but other things always came first. Today I read something very shocking on an e-group, about bibian going out with Muslim boys. What was most shocking was that people on the group just seemed to accept this. But can I ask why do we accept this?

In the last few years, I have become quite involved with some of these situations, not intentionally, but by accident. As some of you may know I now live in Leeds, which is right next to Bradford (Mini-Pakistan). Over the last year, when I went to some of the local Gurdwaras ( there are many), I would occasionally get distraught parents come up to me telling me to talk to their children. The reason they asked me, because I can speak English, British-born Sikh, who attempts to practice. It started off with one girl who said she madly wants to marry a Muslim boy, her parents will not agree, so they brought her to talk to me. Naturally I was a bit shocked, but I spoke to her at the Gurdwara. She told me how much they loved each other, she was going to convert and they were going to marry. I asked her if he really did love her. She said yes. I said, “You are going to convert for him, out of love. I do not ask him to take Amrita, but will he, out of love for you, just come to the Gurdwara, and just bow in front of Sahib Sri Guru Granth sahib Ji. Surely if you can convert for him, he can do this much for you?”

To cut the story short, he would not. She stuck by him, two weeks later ran off with him. They were not seen for six weeks, until she came home, after he had dumped her for another girl. Two other cases came to me, different in structure, but similar storyline. Eventually, I thought enough is enough. I went on the Gurdwara stage and spoke about Muslims, Panjabi girls, fundamental Muslim groups, etc. Guru Maharaj de kirpa, the sangat responded, an ever-expanding youth group has been set-up, we did the shabad-Guru samagam, which included a youth camp, in which this subject was particularly discussed. Now the youth are getting ready to create mass education on Sikhi in this area, as this was seen as a starting point.

Since the smagam, because of the camp I have had another 4 cases. I know maharaj will help all those who need it. But I have noticed a pattern which I what I want to share. Every situation is different, different ages, environment, etc. But one fundamental pattern.

There are two types of Muslim boys;
FUNDAMENTAL MUSLIM — these usually belong to particular groups. They do not care for the individuals, they look at who she is. They target Sikh, Hindu, Christian and Jewish girls. Romancing, flattery, games, etc, to get these in girls in their circle, leading towards conversion. Shocking as it may seem these boys truly believe if they convert a non-Muslim into Islam, then they will be Mukt. (Liberated)

NON-RELIGIOUS MUSLIMS — they care little about religion, for them it is a social thing. If they go out with Pakistani girls and get them pregnant, their community forces them to get married. They do not want to get married, but just go with girls. So they INTENTIONALLY pick Sikh/Hindu/White girls, because they can do what they want, there is no comeback. If the girls get pregnant, their community does not care, these are just cheap girls for their boys to use as they grow up. They are not Pakistani Muslim girls, who are pure. Hence the Pakistani community a major superiority complex over the others.

PUNJABI GIRLS — Notice I call them Punjabi, because they have little knowledge on Sikhi, and no practice. The pattern I have found in the girls is what I call the “Bollywood Concept”. These girls whole heartedly believe love will conquer all. As in films, there is a social divide, their parents are against it, their community is against, but no matter love will always win. However these poor girls get a reality check, when the boy’s sisters, mother and other family do not want this “cheap” girl” in their family. Or the boy has had his fun and wants to move on to the next girl, or get married to a respectable girl. Love suddenly disappears, and she is left humiliated in front of her friends, family and community FOR LIFE, because people do not forget.

I am not racist. I know Punjabi boys are just as bad. But we as a community have got to look at how Muslims perceive us. They do target Punjabi girls, because they are considered easy. Many years ago, A Hindu Brahmin journalist wrote in a national newspaper, “The Daily Telegraph” that Sikh girls are the most uninhibited, i.e.(cheap), in the Asian community. Fundamental Muslim do target Sikh girls, they are desperate for a dastaar wale girl just to humiliate Sikhs. How are we as a community reacting. Why do we accept this? Why are our girls so naive that they think everything is so innocent. Why do they play games?

The Muslim community here, has a major problem of Pakistani girls running away with non-Muslims, due to seeing the hypocrisy and attitudes of Muslims boys. However the are trying to tackle the situation, hence have a £5million pound grant for a school for Muslim girls.

We as Sikhs look at Sarbat da bhalla (consideration for all mankind). But we also have realise not everyone else is like that. We as a community cannot tolerate our community to be perceived in this way. We are not cheap or Asian trash. The Sikh community should be the most moral, upstanding, hardworking, civilized and sophisticated society as created by our Guru’s. THAT IS OUR STANDARD.

A benti to everyone, have some self-respect! Especially to all the Bibian, do not let girls who are your friends behave like this. Say something. Educate them. It is not innocently going to the cinema with some boys, who happen to be Muslims. The deeper they go the more they get burned.

I know alot of people may not like this e-mail, or will disagree with it. Some people may say there is not a problem. If you go to any college, uni, etc, you will see there is a problem. DO YOUR COMMUNITY A FAVOR, DO NOT ACCEPT IT!!!!!

Story 4.

Regrets…. I Have Many

Life in leafy Edgbaston was cosy, routine and without much bother,

Mummy and daddy where professional middle class,

I was at college study for my A levels,

I was shy and obedient but I wasn’t content,

I longed for excitement,

I wanted to live the world,

I wanted to be as bold as brass and that was my intent.

At college one day, a lad approached me, as he towards me,

I could see from afar around his neck, he wore the moon and stars around his neck.

He was very persistent and sweet,

Told me I was beautiful from my head down to my feet.

In my innocence by this tender words I was fooled,

This Muslim boy loved me.

And the love for my own family cooled.

My stupidity lead me to follow western trends,

I allowed him to become my boyfriend,

He had me under his hypnotic spell,

What I was going to do next nobody could tell,

I moved from Edgbaston to Sparkbrook.

I longed to be with my one and only Farooq.

My life was to change completely,

Long gone where the afternoon tea parties with the ladies,

Long gone where my Mummy’s BMW and Daddy’s Mercedes,

I was soon getting on and off buses and trams,

As I struggled with a variety of prams,

I was his sweetheart no more,

Instead I had become his common whore.

From Edgbaston to Sparkbrook and then to living hell

That is Pakistan,

A distant memory now, but please believe me,

I had once stood shoulder to shoulder with my dear dad

and demanded khalistan.

Oh God

What have I done?

What has happened to me?

What have I become?

As I lay awake at night

There is nobody to even hear me cry,

My thoughts are unanswered, questions are my only escape,

Somebody, anybody! Please tell me?

Will I ever stand in the warmth of my kitchen again?

Will I ever feel the hug of dear Daddy’s strong arms?

Will my brothers ever fight and play and argue with me again?

Will I be there when my Mummy and Daddy grow old?

When my brother gets married will I be there to put the kalgi on his pagh?

Will I ever again experience the sweet nectar that is Gurbani?

Will I ever share langar again?

Now there are no answers, only questions.

I have sown the seed of my own despair,

My life is in ruins, which nobody can repair,

My innocence, foolishness, kismet on me all have cheated,

I desperately want my previous boring life,

But I fear I am living in false hope,

In my heart of hearts I know that can never be repeated.

As I write these word in the unforgiving Pakistani heat,

Streams of sweat and tears run down my face,

I realise for me it is now too late,

Life has dealt me a cruel fate,

My living hell on my own I have to endure,

But I plead with my Sikh sisters that you make sure

Don’t be fooled by his looks and false allure.

Stay in the warmth of Sikh religion,

Maintain your family values,

Enjoy its rich culture, but unlike me don’t abuse its social freedom,

Ignore my advice at your peril,

But I beg you to take, a good long hard look at me,

A pitiful shambles I’m sure you will agree,

Happiness or even hope, I haven’t any,

But regrets………….

I have many.

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Dilpreet Singh

A Developer | Interesting in Design, Planning and Leadership | Resist | Govern by Faith | Human rights | Politics and SMILE 😋

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