HOW BECOMING A COACH TRANSFORMED MY LIFE WITH ARFEEN KHAN: From being stuck to a strong survivor
Hey, this is RAAKKHEE SINGHI, part of our mentor MR ARFEEN KHAN’S incredible CTF and STF Programs, (yet to be certified). This platform has given me a fantastic breakthrough in my life giving me the confidence that I too can coach and guide someone who goes through a rough phase in life. I was fighting my battles and proved that with little shifts I can completely give a new look to my life. Arfheen khan's tribe was a fantastic space where I was shaped and groomed into a better me. Thank you so much for that!
So, here's my story.
BEING IN THE ‘STUCK’ MODE
I’m sure all of you have been in or witnessed a marathon. The euphoria of the crowd, the collective sense of purpose all fuelling you with energy to win this. However, amongst more than a hundred people, only one emerges as a winner. Only one has that mad rush to reach the finish line on time. Now apply this to your life too. Everybody decides to change something about themselves in their life. But how and why is it that there is always only one winner who emerges victorious on time?
In many ways, transformation is not an overnight process. It takes painstaking efforts and most of all, dedication. But what we all sometimes forget to notice is that it is not some activity that will happen in the future. Transformation happens today. You just have to choose it.
Let me tell you a little bit about my life until my moment of realisation happened. I decided to choose to transform myself in 2014, when I was 42 years old. I was an entrepreneur, wife and most importantly, a mother. These were the only ‘roles’ I thought I should be playing.
I was a puppet in my own life - being masterfully controlled by many over how I reacted, how I emote and how I feel. In 2014, I realised that the strings were too tight for me to breathe. I was suffocating and I needed to break free. Just when I was about to detach, a new string was added to this spectacle – my husband’s drift into alcoholism. This was not an easy string to cut off. I took a severe blow from this happening.
In many ways, one could describe me as being in the “stuck” mode. I was stuck in an undesirable situation and I still hadn’t decided to find my strength to transform. Most of us are also going through a similar conundrum. You have to decide that you NEED a change, decide that this is not where you should be.
I WILL SURVIVE, THEREFORE I AM
Transformation is not an easy process, it is an arduous one. However, being a mother superseded any other thought or reaction I had to all the situations that life put me in. My son, who I believe is the God’s gift, kept me alive every time my mind even remotely went to a dark place. His innocent expectant eyes, showering nothing but love stopped me from giving up. He deserves better. It was my calling to nurture this beautiful soul.
Just when you begin to accept your situation for better or for worse, life decides to play another round of the game with you. My mother, who I love beyond words, fell sick. Although it was disheartening to see her in such a plight, something happened within me.
It was the moment I decided to listen to my soul, breathe and began to accept the revelation. I decided that I am going to survive no matter what. I decided that enough was truly, enough. Seeing my mother in pain made me recount about my own state of physical and mental health.
Am I really taking care of my body as I should be? Do I listen to my body enough? Am I allowing it to age gracefully?
Much of the change and transformation happens once you begin to think that you NEED a change. I believe you have done 50% of the transformation process if you do that. The reason being, thinking that you need a change is going to put you on the path towards a better you. Strengthening of the mind is a way to strengthen the body as well. Channelizing your inner strength is going to help you unleash your inner beauty.
It dawned upon me that I need to take charge of my health before it gets too late. Nobody is going to or will come to my rescue. This helped me connect it with my purpose, the WHY of this transformation – it is my son. I did not want him to go through the pain of seeing his mother suffer because I was stuck. I needed to change for him – that is why I need to transform right now.
As if on cue, my soul echoed with this phrase every single day, since – ‘you have accepted every challenge thrown at you. ENOUGH dodging them. Breathe NOW, live NOW and smile NOW.’ I decided to survive and age gracefully.
THE PROCESS
Once I wanted to stop my suffocation and find my own voice, I started to realise I have the power within to carve my own identity. I couldn’t wait to embrace the NEW ME. There are two major things that I did which lead me onto the path of positive change.
Weight loss – It is not easy to shed all the extra pounds in just a short period of time. It takes years of determination and dedication and I wasn’t going to stop. The components of weight loss including workout and eating a healthy diet helped me in building my mental strength. As I started to lose all the extra weight, I began gaining extra self-confidence, connecting me with my true identity of who I should have been for all these years.
Creation of my zone – A positive mind creates a positive aura around hence having a positive impact on the atmosphere around it. I lost weight, I looked how I wanted to look and I wore good clothes. My mental and physical strengths were at an all-time high. That was not all. This positive change had as much as an impact on my husband, as it had on me. I was beyond elated when he got sober in 2016.
I started my journey at the age of 42 and emerged with an established career as a Certified Health Designer by the age of 48. I chose transformation when it came knocking at my door. All it took me was to THINK that I need to be on the path of transformation. A quick change of habit of the body and the mind is all it takes to find your inner strength and race to the finish line before it’s too late. I consider myself reborn as a new person after my transformation process.
My life has been an undulating terrain, I have seen it in sweetness and being sour. This has given me the power now to put my vision and mission into focus - to help other people find their purpose and help age gracefully. I chose this path with complete trust and surrendered to the process. I chose to weave my own life, become the designer of it.
Remember, you are the chosen one. If you decide to start now, take off and reach there on time. Wait for nothing or nobody. All you have to do is choose to start.
