Stop asking “how tall are you?” — we’re taking it too far

Today is a big day everyone! It’s my birthday and since I’m a year older and much wiser it’s time to cover another compelling topic. We’re gonna talk about this pesky thing called height. In all my hours of swiping, I’ve come to realize that this is apparently a thing we as the single population care about. Now I must preface this by saying everyone I have dated has either been my height or shorter than me, so apparently I am the odd woman out in this situation. But let’s dive in!
So my first question is why do we care so much about this? Tinder is full of this stuff. The line “6’3 cuz apparently that’s important lol” or the “5'10 in case you’re wondering”. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the visual, but is this offensive? Am I wrong to read that and be a little annoyed? Every time I read that stuff my eyes roll so hard I think I see my brain. At the same time there has to be a reason why so many guys include this in their profile… Who are these girls that are making this a deciding factor? Just because he’s a measly 5’11 and you’re the idea of perfection at 5’4 it’s not gonna happen? Honestly, I’m judging you at this point. You’re just being greedy! You have so many options! Leave the tall guys to the girls who are 5’7 and up dude. You’re being tacky and we hate you.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that every person has physical attributes that they’re into and that they’re not. For me right now apparently neck beards and 70’s porn staches are really doing it for me. Are we surprised? Not really. However, I feel like this is kind of a superficial thing to care about and kind of unfair because there’s nothing they can do about it. It’s not like when the guy you’re dating decides he wants to grow a beard and it’s super patchy and disgusting and you have to spend hours convincing him to shave.
Now I ask myself, would I date someone who is much shorter than me? I’m not sure I would honestly. I don’t want to date someone where I can comfortably rest my arm on their shoulder. It has to be uncomfortable and awkward enough that it’s embarrassing and I never do it. Honestly, I think the real reason girls don’t want to date shorter guys is because of insecurities about our bodies and our femininity. No girl wants to feel bigger than the guy she’s with. I mean we’re inherently supposed to be smaller. I think that girls grow up with so much insecurity that being tall is equal to being considered “not feminine”. You have to be petite and cute to be feminine. Which is hella bullshit peeps. I know many girls who are tall, super fly and major babes. One in particular is bae and you’re inspiring and wonderful and you know who you are. I’m personally in height limbo at a staggering 5’7. Am I tall? Am I short? We’ll honestly never know. I feel like this insecurity is very similar to saying no to someone because you think they’re too good-looking for you. Regardless if the guy is screaming I WANT TO DATE YOU, you’re still thinking what’s wrong with this dude? There has to be something wrong with him if he’s a 10 and interested in you. Dudes, stop it! You’re fly as fook and can catch a 10 if you keep your eyes on the prize. The prize being early retirement and a beach house in Florida. JK…but like not really. That sounds dope.
Now let’s consider the guys who are super tall, like NBA tall. I’m not gonna lie they terrify me a tiny bit. How can you live a normal human existence and be that tall! Were you that tall in high school? How do you fit through regular doorways? What do you do when you go in basements in old houses that aren’t necessarily up to code? Where do you buy your pants or do you make your own? How do you live in normal society! I don’t understand!
Are we really so judgmental now that we would let someone who may be really good for us slip away because they aren’t tall enough? I would hope not, but here we are. I guess this is just who we are right now. God I love that line, it works for so many things. What I wonder is whether guys are as weird about taller girls as we are about short guys? From the perspective of some of my guy friends they couldn’t care less. Which I think is kind of dope. I mean there’s obviously gonna be that douche who doesn’t want an “amazon woman,” but he’s a dick and we don’t want him either so bud can bite me.
So where does this leave us? I mean we’re not all gonna change our ways overnight. That’s to be expected. But I would hope that the girls who make a big deal out of height can take a chill pill and relax about it a little. There are so many other things to worry about in this world, why make your life more complicated? Would you rather he be tall and a mild dick or 5’7 and a super cool dude. I’ll let you ponder that, but I know I’ll pick the shorter guy every time. If he’s cool and we get along why should I judge him on something that he can’t change?
Don’t worry shorties, I’ve got your back. Sincerely, a maybe short or maybe tall female. I’m basically the grande size at Starbucks.
ps. if you weren’t aware you get a free drink from Starbucks on your birthday and a free gift from Sephora so you could say I’m living the motherfuckin dream.
