FRAGMENTS TO WHOLENESS

As an introvert, my life can be very private. No, I don’t hate people. I’ve just had enough experiences to realise that not everyone deserves to be known, and not everyone deserves to know you. I learned to deal with stuff myself at a very early age, many times because, as a quiet child, well… you are quiet. And sometimes, even when you have adults around pressing you to speak up, the way they press even makes you more reclusive.

Childhood did have an impact on me. Sometimes I felt like a child who was thrown into the world, ready or not. And I navigated the best way I could, but nothing prepared me for what I was going to face at a particular stage in my life as an adult. A torturous situation tore me out of my shell and left me open to untold ridicule. I remember how I would step into my cubicle room in the evenings, squat by a corner in my tiny room, cover my mouth, and whimper, wishing I could scream my lungs out from the mental and emotional torture I was facing. It almost killed me (literally), but God helped me. With every slow crawl, I crawled my way out of that situation and environment and found a shelter.

The shelter, a cave, was the first place to hide. It was meant to be a temporary shelter. I felt like a little chick who got lost and needed to run to this cave from the rain. Though I didn’t belong to this mother hen who was nursing her chicks there, I was at least thankful she’d let me shelter, though far from her own chicks. That was what it felt like.

With every passing day, I started healing. Nevertheless, the intense pain that came with the healing felt like added salt to an injury. Nobody tells you how painful healing can be — more painful than the injury. But I needed to bear the pain of healing instead of letting it fester to destruction. Today, that situation has empowered me to face anything, regardless of the fear, shame, or failure that may come with it.

I use my story to pull others like me out of that stuck state of thinking that they can’t go beyond or rise above certain pain or trauma. That’s not true. It only feels like that, but with every crawl away from it, every sigh of effort, every improvement you make? All of it matters.

Do I still face fear, shame, or mockery? Of course, I do. But it doesn’t have a hold on me again, stopping me from doing what I have to do. Now I can boldly come out and own my vulnerability. I can tell people I failed in this, but it doesn’t define me, nor will it stop me from trying again. That’s the rugged spirit I’m now made of. My fragments have solidified together, and I dare say it unapologetically.

Hey,

• Own your story; own your vulnerability.
• Choose resilience even in the face of daunting adversity.
• Break free from the shackles of fear, shame, and mockery.
• Healing can be painful, but I’d rather you choose the pain of healing over destruction.
• Wholeness can be a long journey. but you will never regret choosing to walk that path.

I hope you are inspired to pull yourself together and get on your journey to wholeness and power. I’m rooting for you, champ. You’ve got this.