Forever and Always
“Why must I pack everything I own and start another journey? Can’t we go together laughing, crying, raging, loving and hoping?
I don’t want to go some place where I will be alone. I’m don’t want to go to Antarctica; you can’t change my mind anymore. I’m staying, right here, with you no matter what happens”, I couldn’t believe he said that. Why would he want to me leave him, I have never been alone without him.
“Before you go, I hope you would sit down and hear me out. Thank you for showing me the world that I never thought I could be a part of. Thank you for being the only one who cared about me all this time. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the beautiful, amazing, and memorable 16 years of care, love, and company. You must go on by yourself; your journey with me in it is over.“ tears rushed into my eyes as I listened for the first time and last, “I’m sorry, but I can no longer be with you. I wish I could, I do. I’m sorry. Goodbye.”
Goodbye hit me like a dagger right into my chest, it sucked the air out of my lungs, my heart skipped a beat, and my mind froze as if it turned to ice. I wanted to cry; I tried to cry, and no matter how hard I tried no tear would drop, and my eyes dry as the desert I’m in. I tried to scream in desperation, and no matter how hard I tried I could not mutter a sound. So I stood up, left a gentle kiss and walked out the door.
What awaited me outside the door was sand, chills down my spine, and a cruel white moonlight that guided my way out of this miserable desert. I walked, and walked, over the hills of sand, down into the shadow of the dunes, and it seems like the sand extended for eternity.
After days of walking, I started seeing the ice I’ve been searching for. The ice was just as they described as: it smells the same as blood, the metallic texture, the rough surface, and such a sense of disgust that you can never live by it. In my memory, I remember when I hated the sensation and never got close to it yet here I am. Surrounded by blood stained ice, under the ice born tree, recalling memories of you. Perhaps some day we may meet again if fate would allow