The fear you do not see.

Some of my friends have the weirdest minds, they see things regular people don’t see. I keep a small circle so technically its all of them. This, I have come to realize is a scary trend.

The suicidal thoughts, depressing voices, and different stories make up our Friday night rendezvous. These meetings are an escape from the world, how Sola becomes truly free from the shackles of “what should be.”

Isabel, on the other hand can’t keep a relationship, obviously, because it becomes too much work to date two people — the boyfriend and herself. Isabel, you see, is in her early 30s, a stereotyped age fo-r an unmarried Nigerian woman. One thing is certain, she is an “Aunty” now, however you look at it. Last Friday she lamented the frustrating conversations she has been having with “Mama” as she fondly calls her mother. She doesn’t see the need to get married however strange it might sound.

Tunde, the finest of our lot, surprisingly isn’t the typical Yoruba demon you are used to. Tunde wants to find love in its purest and would rather spend Friday nights with the “boo” than any of us. But you see, he tells me in confidence that he can’t be with a woman past 3 months, It starts to feel “itchy.” Maybe he’s a demon after all.

I’m looking to find what links all of us, how did we even become friends, oh I see! the book club! it was my first escape. I would submerge myself in the pages of those books and would regularly stay quiet at book reviews. That was where i first met Ugo, Ugo always tried too hard. He wanted to be friends with everybody and hence came off as weird, cracking up jokes that we now call “the JJ” because they were never jokes really, just feeble attempts to get attention.

I’m different from my friends…..they say I have a multiple personality. I try to be the friend to each person. I always reach out to know how everyone was, so they barely ask how I am doing. Cos they think, “is it not Maxwell?”, he is fine. This assumption is somewhat tiring, of course I am fine, I can’t keep a relationship because these beauty queens think I am cheating with the entire world, and the ones who don’t even think so, can’t cope with my schedule. “You don’t have time for me,” is a regular break up chorus.

And my mood swings? Tracy, my last girlfriend couldn’t stand it. Fair enough, I couldn’t stand her IQ too. Its safe to say nobody lost.

They say your friends are a reflection of who you are…maybe sola tells the story I wish to tell, or Tunde reflects the playboy side of me , or Ugo, the personality that wants to be everyone’s bestie, or Isabel the free spirit.

I feel all their fears, what haunts each of them, haunts me, what they don’t see is my weakness and my need for them, maybe this is the curse they refer to as a Multi personality…..oh! Shoot! Have they always known?