If God is fake, why did humans create such an evil God? PART 10
Before I provide a summary and conclusion in the next couple of weeks, I will give the final say to Elizabeth Childs Kelly, who is published here on Medium.
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Women, Here Are 11 Reasons Why Men Don’t Care About Your Experiences of Sexual Violence
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Published in Human Parts
· 3 min read
· Sep 28, 2023
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Photo by Sam Moghadam Khamseh on Unsplash
A few weeks ago, I wrote an article challenging men to take a more active role in helping prevent sexual harassment and violence. In it, I shared a story of a friend’s frightening experience, referenced CDC statistics that indicate that half or more of all women have experienced sexual violence, and pointed out that based on those numbers, even the so-called “good guys” surely know some men who have committed acts of harassment or worse against women. I also provided several questions for men who wished to reflect on their own possible silence or complicity in maintaining a culture of violence against women.
The comments came fast and furious, and while some men did offer support and encouragement, the majority responded somewhat differently. Ladies, as it turns out, there are some very consistent reasons why men can’t be bothered to care about your personal safety. In the spirit of public service, I thought I’d summarize them for you here.
Content warning: I’m presenting an overview of the actual comments I received in jest. However, if you have experienced sexual violence personally, please check in with yourself as to whether it will serve you to read further. If, on the other hand, you possess a particularly steely resolve, you can dive into all the original comments at your leisure. Just be warned that you might need a stiff drink or some anti-nausea medicine to get through them all.
Ladies, as it turns out, there are some very consistent reasons why men can’t be bothered to care about your personal safety.
Without further ado, here’s why men don’t care about what may have happened to you:
1. It’s not their problem.
You’ve experienced sexual harassment and/or assault? Sucks to be you. If they didn’t do it to you personally, it’s no concern of theirs.
2. They’re not responsible for your happiness. Or your safety. Or anything else. Expecting otherwise is anti-feminist. Welcome to the 21st century, ladies.
3. Your stories are too long. If you want men to care, keep it concise.
4. Your stories are also boring. Hearing them is getting tiring. If you could just quiet down about all of this, that would be great. Or maybe amp them up? Garden variety harassment isn’t that interesting. Make it scarier or more violent. It’s sexier that way.
5. If you mention patriarchy, forget it. Men don’t control everything. Also, that’s a political term that no one wants to hear.
6. Women don’t understand male sexuality. Men must initiate sex in order to populate the Earth. It’s science. Unwanted advances (and worse) are apparently just part of the deal.
7. Your statistics are flawed. It doesn’t matter if they came from the CDC or anywhere else, they’re wrong. Or you’re interpreting them wrong. Either way, you’re wrong.
8. You’re making it up. Or over-inflating the severity of your experience. Did it really happen? And if it wasn’t rape, was it really that bad?
9. It’s your fault. Go check out Instagram and TikTok to see how women are presenting themselves. What do you expect?
10. If you’d just say it nicer… You’ve got a valid point, but you sound angry. You’re going to make men feel defensive, and no one will listen. You should smile more while you say it.
11. Yeah, but what about them? You’ve been sexually harassed, stalked, victimized? That’s too bad, but they’ve been harmed by toxic masculinity, too. That makes it virtually impossible to listen to your experiences or empathize with you. Sorry (not sorry).
Women, please keep all this in mind the next time you want to speak about sexual violence. Avoiding these mistakes will make all the difference as to whether men will actually listen to you. Then again, maybe not.
Thank you, dear reader. I wanted to write this a little differently but if I left it any longer the 12-year wait for the new version of The Fast and the Furious would have been over and the game released.
