How to Be a Hong Konger in Five Easy Steps

If Hong Kong were to be described in one word, that word would be “industrious”. Given the choice, this city would not stay still for even a moment — and why would it? There’s money to be made and it’s not going to make itself.

Here’s how you can be more like one of Hong Kong‘s hardworking locals — without ever stepping foot outside your home.

Scoff Down Some Food at Cafe de Coral

Otherwise known in Hong Kong as “work fuel”, eating in Hong Kong is not — and should not be — about pleasure. Like everything else in this city, to eat is to compete.

To eat like a true local, you’ll have to navigate the minefield of restaurants that are trying to rip you off for “ambience” and decorative plating. Find the restaurant where the waiter greets you with a shrug of indifference; in Hong Kong, it’s not a meal worth having unless you’re thrown out of the door in the middle of your last mouthful.

Cafe de Coral is the default diner of choice. Why? Because they’re everywhere. Wherever work happens to be, there’s a Cafe de Coral on the way. They’re efficient too. If your meal takes any longer than 10 minutes, you have every right to upturn the nearest table — and locals would be outraged on your behalf.

Bribe the Gods at Man Mo Temple

In Hong Kong, the spiritual dimension is divvied up like a well-structured organisation chart. Need to find a husband? There’s a Taoist god for that. Need some general, all-purpose good fortune? There’s a god for that too. Whether you’re going through a divorce or a scary doctor’s appointment, there’s a deity who has made it their job to help you through it.

During university entrance exam season, students flock to Man Mo Temple because it is here that they find 文帝 (Man Tai), the god of literature. For over a millennia, Man Tai has been helping students to pass their civil servant exam to work in Beijing’s imperial courts. But he doesn’t do it for free, of course. As with all transactions in Hong Kong, blessings are a business, and his business is booming. In return for good grades, Man Tai will generally accept payment in incense, oranges and snacks.

Put a Hit out on Your Enemies

As the saying goes, you’ve got to spend money to make money. And in Hong Kong, the best way to spend it is by paying to put a hit out on those who stand between you and your riches. Is your boss refusing to give you your well-deserved raise? Well, that sounds like a job for the ‘hit women’ of Causeway Bay.

‘Hit women’ have built their business around selling vengeance. Write down the name and birthday (or names and birthdays, if you’re planning a coup) of your enemy and the hit women will take care of the rest. You can usually find them beneath the underpass in Causeway Bay, but you can also pay for their services through WeChat, so you can seek revenge wherever you are in the world.

Say, “加油”

When the people of Hong Kong apply themselves to something, they do it with the ferocity and intensity of a… well, a Hong Konger. Piano, ping-pong, protests, you name it, we’ll obsess over it. And during those rare moments when energy levels wane, there’s a term we use to egg each other on. It goes, “加油” (ga yao) and it translates literally as “add oil”. More generally, it means “keep going” or “put the pedal to the metal”.

Whether it’s 4am and you’re still up studying for a biology exam or you’re pounding the pavements for the 8th hour in one of the world’s largest demonstrations of political dissent, you add oil. Because in Hong Kong, if you’re heading for burnout anyway, you might as well 加油 and go out in a blaze of glory.

Down a Shot of Medicinal Tea

One of the main things that differentiates Hong Kong from Mainland China is its fervent belief in the healing power of medicinal teas. While Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is practiced across the country, its manifestation in food and drink is very much localised to the South of China.

There are enjoyable ways to ingest the benefits of TCM, but medicinal teas, like the kind brewed in Tung Lok Tong, are not designed for enjoyment. The taste is, well — let’s just say it’s ‘character building’.