Not Ready For It

I try to catch my breath as my lungs struggle to get air. My shins are burning with every stride. I can’t stop running, have to keep moving. I’m too afraid to turn around and see if it’s still following me. I have to stop, I’m getting light-headed. I turn a corner I see two cars and hide between them.

My breathing is heavy and out of rhythm. I try my best to keep quiet with no success. I struggle to peek around the car. Is it still following me? I’m looking at the corner and I see it’s dark shadow quickly approaching. I know it’s coming, I jump back and hide against the car. I know it’s looking around for me. I can feel it’s presence, can feel its eyes looking.

The world around me suddenly goes quiet. No birds, no cars, no sounds from anyone else. Just my breathing and wheezing, my heart still racing, trying to escape my chest. I try to swallow but my throat is closed. I can feel it as if it were standing next to me. I don’t want to turn around to look and I won’t have to. I can feel it’s shadow fall over me, I can see it on the floor in front of me. It has found me, it is here, I can’t shake it anymore, can’t hide from it. Whether or not I want too, my guilt has found me and come to face me.

Day #43 SJD

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