I feel a bit like an old man giving a naive, stubborn kid advice. But don’t treat any of it as advice, just observations. Right now you are young, energetic and full of life. You have delusions of grandeur. Let me start with the bad news first. I’m sorry, but there’s a lot of it.

Getting into Berkeley will be the height of your academic accomplishments. It’s all down hill from there. You are not an academic despite the world you’ve been brought up in. Other than that damn piece of paper that hangs in the wall at your parents house (aka a diploma), your academic accolades will be mediocre at best and complete failures at worst. Computer science will be the bane of your existence. Who the hell knows what recursion means? Certainly not you.

I’m sure you’re thinking “I’m invincible.” But like all superheroes you have your kryptonite. It comes in many forms. You’ll leave college never having had a girlfriend. I hate to tell you that since in retrospect it seems like an ideal place to get laid. I don’t know how you screw that up, but you do. But don’t fret, the future holds a few batshit crazy girlfriends and vicious breakups to make up for the lack of drama in college.

By the time you graduate that vibrant, youthful energy will dissipate. You’ll walk out into the land of opportunity: Silicon Valley. If you wrote a book about your time in the valley it would be called “Bad Bets: The Startups you never hear about and the ones I left too early.” A startup will get acquired by Microsoft 2 weeks after you leave. You will always be in the wrong place at the wrong time and everybody else will seem like they’re on a winning streak.

Your dad will always say “everything that happens to you is for your own good.” You’ll nod, smile, wanting to believe him while secretly thinking that it’s complete bullshit. Who would wish such an early 20's on anyone? Your health will deteriorate an you’ll be forced to confront a digestive disease for which there is no cure.

And if you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking “why bother?” I can’t blame you. Life is kind of shit in those early years. You’ll never thrive at a job. You’ll never get promoted.

Mediocrity will be your calling card. And eventually it will all just fall apart like a house of cards. Welcome to rock bottom. This is where life really begins.

You’ll start working when you graduate from college. But your career and your adult life will actually begin at 30. I should have mentioned that you are a late bloomer in ever sense of the word:

• No girlfriend until 25
• No athletic skills until 30
• No semblance of success until 35

Better late than never. But it will be an uphill battle with questionable choices and unpopular decisions. Some mornings you will feel like you’re right back where you started when you were 18.

There will be more grey hair, a few more pounds, and you’ll sleep a bit earlier. And you’ll wonder “how the hell did I get here?”

The day your book becomes a bestseller (I told you it gets better) you’ll remember that boss who told you that you weren’t cut out for sales. You’ll think about all those days when you used to dream of the day when you could send him your book with a post it note that reads “you were right., I’m not cut out for sales.” But by this point you’ve finally shed your ego and such childish pursuits have lost their appeal. After all, why waste a good book on an asshole who never believed in you?

As I finish what appears to be 100's of days of writing, I’ll leave you with a few final thoughts

Writing will save you

Surfing will define you

Failing will mould you

And just remember: Better late than never

This is an excerpt from my next book, The Scenic Route: A Journey of Words and Waves. You can learn more about my work at The Unmistakable Creative Podcast, where I talk to creative entrepreneurs and insanely interesting people.