Why a Matriarchy Would Suck

The Supreme Court would be filled with uptight nerds who frown upon sexual predation.

Conciliatory approach to politics = incredibly boring C-SPAN.

Less crime means less crime podcasts.

Having to use the word “humankind” instead of “mankind” would be a huge fucking inconvenience to all.

A greater focus on children’s issues means less imagining they were never born.

Somehow the range of conceived Supreme Beings would no longer deem fifty percent of the population less holy than the other fifty percent, leading to a worldwide imbalance of imbalance.

The White House would almost certainly be redecorated in flowery wallpaper.

Grammatical genders in the Romantic languages would have to be reversed. Salt being feminine? Come on.

Men would be forced to menstruate.

Worldwide reproductive rights → fewer humans → decrease in ability to pay slave wages to Third World children gluing together footwear → worldwide shoelessness.

Doors would never again be politely held for anyone ever.

Forced arranged marriage would still be a thing for young girls, but only as applied to their stuffed animal toys, as arranged by the girls themselves, making a complete farce of this sacred, age-old, traditionally cultural pedophilic institution.

Every year, men on social media would contemplate how International Manhood Day somehow seems more depressing than celebratory.

Children would learn about morality from priests instead of being traumatized by them, resulting in overcrowded churches with less parking space.

The entertainment industry promoting only the most talented people in their ranks would result in an acute lack of eye-glazing garbage to run in the background as you clean.

Who would do the genociding?