A letter to Myself
Don't be afraid to allow yourself to be ambitious. They will note your failures, belittle your accomplishments, and misunderstand your truth. They are flawed. Remember that you are also flawed. They are lost in a mundane routine, while you are riding the highs and lows of a dreamer. You will find a social resiliency that allows you to connect without being harmed.
Focus. Push through the haze, and find your thesis. A story without focus is a plot. You do not live for semantics; do not expect your reader to be interested in them. You live for art, for a clearer understanding of the human condition, and to pull yourself out of a never ending existential crisis. Establish these truths in your writing. Let them know that you are lost. Tell them that you are fighting for inner peace. Tell them that you are angry at your faithless heart.
Be more patient with others than you are with yourself. When they fail to perform shrug your shoulders, and deal with the situation. When you fail to perform, rage. Rage against your ungrateful self. Every moment of procrastination is a needle in the heart of your ideals. Do not let this heart be heavy with the weight of a thousand needles. Forgive yourself. Remove the needles one by one; paragraph by paragraph.
Have the foresight to plan for the long term. Force yourself to gain the skills it will take to be successful. Go back to school before you regret it. Keep learning. Your hours of reading, communicating with other writers, and researching will add depth to your work. Find the right tool for the job, and learn how to use it. To plan, and to follow through, is to take advantage of this wonderful freedom that you are granted.
There is an empty hallway littered with thousands of graffiti quotes. They say things like "Carpe Diem", and "Live Abundantly." These quotes will give you a shallow high that you do not need. This is the middle ground between where your are now, and where you want to be. Destroy it. Chasing the emotional highs of your future self is a waste of your precious time. Control your emotions, habits, and pain.
You are the master of your self destructive tendencies. Blame no outside source for the pain these cause you. Hold yourself accountable, and allow others to do the same. Being honest about your failures is just as important as being honest about your successes. Understanding the various facets of each failure will help you recognize them the next time that they approach. Above all things, enjoy yourself.