Fitting nowhere

Chris Garbers
May 11, 2016 · 2 min read

Hi, that’s me.

I’m a white, male and thus unsurprisingly working in IT and surviving in it even after age of 40.

So I just signed up on medium. They ask you for your interest in topics and it occured to me again: heck, I can click almost anything they suggest. I’m a curious person. I want to understand how things work. How I can make things work. I like arts, music, literature. Politics. Environment. Tech. Mobile. Gaming. Education. Raising Kids. Keeping my own mental health in order (which I find challenging in times). Sports. Food. Writing. Languages. 3D printing. Open attitudes, diversity. It doesn’t stop.

So looking at my own resume, that kind of reflects. Lot’s of changes. Electrical engineering. Software. Project management, Product management. A time out. A startup. Big companies, small companies. Back to programming. Mobile this time.

And still — I don’t have the feeling, that I’m “there” yet. Looking for it like 25+ years, it seems that I still don’t know where I belong.

Being highly adaptive, I can work almost anywhere, with anybody wh0’s not racist, ignorant but collaborative, cooperative. But wherever I go, I will keep moving on to some other place, as I just don’t seem to fit.

Looking back at my long long list of interests, this is easy to explain. Companies, be it big or small, just have too much of focus. And they must have. Can you imagine a five guy startup with efforts in 100 different kinds of business? Guess not. Even a large corporation, which would have a broad spec like that — well they would never allow an employee just to work in every area whenever I like.

Life guides keep telling you “find your passion and follow that”. Well. I have so many. I can’t follow them all. And following just one or two makes me missing out on all the other talents. And that makes me moving on.

So the question “where do I fit” stays unanswered. I just don’t. Maybe I should start being happy with that.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch

Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore

Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store