The Void

Today is again a day of which I’m calling “The Void”. This usually happens with me when there’s a period of a lot of work, a lot of stress, a lot of events happening right after each other. Whenever thereafter I have a day of “time-out”, “me-time”, “off-time” with no appointments, no plans, basically nothing to do; most the times I’m falling into this numbness having myself flung on the sofa, knowing “hell there’s so much that I wanted to do in my spare time”, but not getting triggered to start. You just sit there. Staring at yourself from the inside. That’s The Void.

Often I get a bad feeling about this. Looking at the chaos on my desk, with all those open tasks, all this equipment I need to finish my projects with, and not getting my ass lifted to just, well, start on anything.

Maybe those feelings are wrong. Maybe this is just my body and brain telling me that this time-out is so pressingly needed. That I was in fact doing too much.

Sometime (unfortunately way too few times), this void is long enough, that a creative process is reborn again. Then I start having ideas again. Good ideas. And motivation do actually do something. To pull something off.

I believe that you have to go through some sadness, some boringness, some hanging-around-doing-nil-ness before you can actually start again being creative. You need to get your mind wandering. And this wandering is not possible, if you’re stressed out all the time.

Compare that to a high speed train going 250 kp/h all week and then getting side tracked with engines switched off. It won’t stop right on that moment you flip the switch. It will take some time rolling and rolling, until it finally stops. And that’s what the mind (my mind) is needing, too. Time to slow down, until you can exit that train, propelling you all the time.

Thing is: for a creative person like me, a weekend is usually not enough for that. That’s the reason I was writing so few lines lately. Today is again a day in The Void, and these are the words from within. :)