I didn’t mean to put down what you’re going through and I know how very lucky I am in my life.
I just want you to know that if you have anxiety issues and problems meeting people, thinking that learning “how abusive psychotic narcissistic men… lure smart, attractive women into their dark world of fear and control” is not going to help make any of those things better.
Believing that “learning” those things (as if they are even actual things to begin with) will somehow make things better for you is the frustration talking. Those things aren’t real, they won’t make anyone attracted to you and they won’t make a single thing better for you.
Also, being in a romantic relationship won’t make any of the things you’re going through better. It will make you less lonely, but only for a little while and unless you work on the anxiety and other things they will slowly ruin any relationship you have.
You need to get real help for your anxiety issues and work on the things that trigger you in a productive way. I think that as you get better, you’ll find that the things around you, including your relationships with women and men, will get better. You’ll be happier and see that your current view of “what I need to learn to attract women” is just a side effect of the stuff you’re going through right now.
It can get better. It’s hard and takes a whole lot of work, but it can get better.
Good luck man, I mean that.