Rose-Colored Glasses: A Confession.

  1. I “should not want to go somewhere at night”. My nights were expected to be reserved for him, as he had a busy schedule. This alienated me from my friends.
  2. I was to not have close male friends unless we worked together. All photos of male friends were to be removed from my apartment. This was heartbreaking for me, as my best friend happened to be male.
  3. As he was sober, I was not to drink alcohol. Before we began dating he said, “I noticed you have a glass of wine with dinner. That’s going to stop.”
  4. I was not to speak in public places (elevators, cars with drivers, restaurants where tables were too close) as he believed that people recognized him and were listening to our conversations. Our dinners out were usually silent, him on his phone.
  5. I wasn’t allowed to take a photo of us. (Eventually, he softened on this rule, but was very stern about me asking permission.)
One of my “progress” shots.
  1. It wasn’t that bad. Memories can warp.
  2. He was famous. She enjoyed the lifestyle. (For the record, I usually insisted on paying for dinner, thank you very much.)
  3. She was dumb and/or weak and didn’t have the strength to stand up to him.

(July 7th) EDIT to address the change in my essay:

I had kept the words “sexually assault” in my piece since the very first draft. Before posting, I got cold feet and was pressured to change it to “sexually violate” out of fear of backlash. When it posted unlisted, the edit did not save- and I’m grateful it didn’t, because it did not allow me to back away from my original statement. When I decided to “publish” it properly (make it “listed” instead of unlisted), it changed the words back to “sexually violate”. I immediately went to rectify it as quickly as I could. I stand by my statement.



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Chloe Dykstra

Chloe Dykstra


I do the acting thing and show up in weird places on the internet. I also like dogs, but not in the weird way.