Does Having a TV in the Bedroom Affect Your Marriage (Should Married Couples Have a TV in Their Bedroom?)

Skylar Madeline
7 min readOct 22, 2023

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Photo by Jack B on Unsplash

Today, I want to dive deep into a topic that’s been a source of many lively debates in my counseling room — the good old TV in the bedroom. Yes, that seemingly innocent piece of tech that’s supposed to provide endless entertainment but often ends up being a silent intruder in the sacred space of your marriage. So often, I hear from people who are puzzled, frustrated, or even elated about having a TV in their bedroom. And I’ve got to say, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. It depends on your relationship, your habits, and your preferences.

One sunny afternoon, my client named Jolie reached out to me in a bit of a panic. She and her husband had been locked in a silent standoff over their bedroom TV. She liked to unwind with late-night shows, while he preferred the serenity of a TV-free zone. And yes, you guessed it — the poor TV had become the battleground for a silent war of wills.

Jolie sighed heavily as she began her story. “You know, we’ve been married for ten years, and I thought we’d figured out most things, but this TV issue has become a real pain. It all started when I got into this new series. I just wanted to relax after a long day at work, and the bedroom felt like the coziest spot to do that.”

She continued, “At first, he didn’t mind. But then he started reading a lot more before bed and wanted the room to be quiet. We had a few discussions about it — polite ones at first, then not-so-polite ones. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just wear headphones or read in the living room. We just couldn’t see eye to eye.”

Jolie’s voice quivered with frustration, and she concluded with a heartfelt question, “So, what should we do? Is there a middle ground here, or do we need to choose between our TV and our marriage?”

It got me thinking, and it’s something many couples can relate to — the classic battle of personal preferences in the bedroom. To have or not to have a TV, that is the question. Let’s tackle this debate head-on and shed some light on the pros and cons of having a TV in your marital haven.

The Pros of Having a TV in the Bedroom

Let’s start with the bright side. There are some perks to having a TV in the bedroom, and I’ve seen couples thrive with one. Here’s why:

1. Cozy Movie Nights: Having a TV in the bedroom can make it feel like a mini movie theater. Snuggling under the covers, sharing a bowl of popcorn, and watching your favorite flick can be an excellent way to bond.

2. Relaxation and Unwinding: For some, watching TV in bed is the perfect way to unwind after a long day. It can be a shared activity where you both relax together.

3. Avoiding Late-Night Arguments: Believe it or not, having a TV can sometimes help avoid arguments. If you both have different bedtime routines, like one of you wanting to sleep early while the other stays up, the TV can provide a quiet distraction.

4. Privacy and Intimacy: Sometimes, the TV can act as a buffer for couples who value a bit of privacy or alone time without feeling the pressure to engage in deep conversations all the time.

The Cons of Having a TV in the Bedroom

But, as the saying goes, every rose has its thorn. So, here’s what can go wrong with a TV in the bedroom:

1. Sleep Disturbance: One of the biggest complaints is sleep disturbance. The glow from the TV, the noise, and even the content can mess with your sleep quality.

2. Differing Tastes: If you and your partner have vastly different TV preferences, it can lead to frustration and arguments. Instead of bonding, it might push you further apart.

3. Distraction from Intimacy: For some couples, the TV can be a major distraction from physical intimacy. When it’s constantly on, it might feel like you’re rooming with a third wheel.

4. Loss of Connection: Bedrooms should be a place of emotional connection. When the TV becomes the primary source of entertainment, you might lose those deep conversations that make your bond stronger.

So, Should You Have a TV in the Bedroom?

Now, the big question — should you have a TV in your bedroom? Well, it depends on you and your partner. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Here are a few things to consider:

1. Compatibility of TV Preferences

Think of your TV preferences as a puzzle piece that needs to fit into your relationship. If you and your partner share a love for the same shows and schedules, having a TV in the bedroom can be a delightful bonding experience. You can anticipate new episodes of your favorite series or plan movie nights together. It becomes an opportunity to share your enthusiasm, discuss plot twists, and enjoy a shared experience.

However, if you and your partner have vastly different tastes in TV content, it’s essential to consider how this will affect your relationship. Differing preferences can lead to frustration and arguments. Picture this: one of you loves thrilling crime dramas, while the other prefers light-hearted comedies. Now, you’re faced with a dilemma. Whose choice should prevail during your shared TV time? It might seem trivial, but over time, this can become a significant source of tension.

2. Bedtime Routines

Consider your bedtime routines when thinking about having a TV in the bedroom. If one of you prefers to go to bed early while the other is a night owl, the TV can either be a solution or a problem.

On the bright side, it can act as a buffer. The early bird can drift off to sleep, undisturbed, while the night owl watches their favorite shows with the volume down or through headphones. It’s a convenient way to respect each other’s routines and maintain harmony in your shared space.

However, keep in mind that the blue light from the TV screen can interfere with sleep patterns and affect the quality of your rest. So, you may need to find a balance here. One suggestion is to invest in sleep-friendly technology that reduces blue light, such as a pair of blue-light-blocking glasses or a screen filter.

3. Intimacy and Connection

Your bedroom is a sacred space for intimacy and emotional connection. It’s the place where you share your innermost thoughts, fears, and dreams. If the TV becomes a constant presence, it can pose a significant threat to the deep emotional bond between you and your partner.

Let’s be honest: TV shows, especially gripping ones, have a way of pulling us in. It’s easy to get engrossed in the storyline, which can unintentionally lead to neglecting the most important storyline of all — your love story. When the TV dominates your bedroom, the quality time you once spent connecting with your partner may be gradually replaced by screen time. It’s like having a third wheel in the room.

So, consider how important emotional intimacy is to you. If you value those heart-to-heart conversations and moments of vulnerability that strengthen your relationship, you might want to think twice about having a TV in the bedroom.

4. Sleep Quality

It’s no secret that a good night’s sleep is crucial for overall well-being. The quality of your sleep directly impacts your mood, energy levels, and how you interact with each other. And this is where the TV in the bedroom can be a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, if it’s interfering with your sleep, it’s not doing your relationship any favors. The glow from the screen and the noise can disrupt your sleep patterns, leading to groggy mornings and irritability. Over time, this sleep disturbance can spill over into your daytime interactions, making you both more susceptible to mood swings and disagreements.

But here’s a potential workaround: consider setting a sleep-friendly TV schedule. Agree on when the TV turns off, allowing both of you to enjoy quality rest. You might also invest in a smart TV with features that reduce blue light, adjust screen brightness, or even turn off automatically after a certain time.

5. Communication

As with any aspect of a relationship, communication is key. If you decide to have a TV in your bedroom, open, honest, and ongoing communication is essential.

Have a conversation with your partner about boundaries and rules for TV time. Discuss what shows or movies you both enjoy and how you can compromise on content selection. This creates a sense of partnership and ensures that watching TV remains a shared activity rather than an individual escape.

Regular check-ins are crucial. Periodically assess how the TV is affecting your relationship. If you notice that it’s causing tension or drifting you apart, be open to making adjustments. Your bedroom should be a space where you both feel comfortable and connected, and if the TV starts to hinder that, it may be time to reconsider its presence.

So, does having a TV in the bedroom affect your marriage? It certainly can, but it doesn’t have to. It all depends on how you and your partner handle it. For some, it can be a source of connection and relaxation, while for others, it can become a barrier. The key is finding the right balance.

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