3 Things to Know — Before catching up with a Missionary.

The Majority of us who are involved with a local church know of a friend, family member, or church partner that has lived on the mission field, or is currently on the field. The typical context in which we hear about missionaries and their life’s call to the field, for the most part takes place on Sunday mornings. On any given Sunday, we may hear about how God used a missionary’s obedience, a quick plug or through a introduction from stage if they happen to be in town.

Missionaries are people whose work is somewhat familiar to of us in the church, yet we are distant enough from the details to leave them feeling vaguely unknown.

This can make catching up with a missionary friend over coffee quite uncomfortable or awkward at times, especially when we realize we do not have a framework to understand the kind of work that they do and the experiences that they have had on the field. Really quick, I wanted to give you some helpful tools for the next time you catch up with a missionary friend or family member — here are some helpful things to remember!

1. Don’t say “Welcome Home!” — I know this probably seems mean and even un-empathetic, but just please hear me out. Missionaries do not always feel that their passport country is their “home” anymore. When these families and individuals have lived a significant period of time on the field, we must understand they have devoted their whole life to adjusting and integrating themselves into the culture in which they have been called to. This is actually the goal of every healthy missionary endeavor, which is to bring gospel renewal into that community in context, the key word to note is — context. In order for that goal to happen there is a high cost of culture shock that each cross cultural missionary may face in order for contextualization to happen. For missionaries this process takes years and after putting their heart and soul into the process of submersion and integration, the return to their home country may no longer feel like home. This also leads to a deeper truth in that a lot of missionaries actually never want to come back to their home country which leads us to our second point.
2. Coming back is Very Difficult — Missionaries return for a variety of reasons; for a required visa trip, retirement ,medical reasons or unfortunately because of crisis. No matter the reason the process of re-entering can very difficult on both families and individuals that have lived overseas for quite some time. In my opinion Re-Entry, is the most over-looked challenge a missionary can go through in life. Many missionaries look forward to seeing loved ones, but resent the coming back “home” journey, especially after they have worked so hard to fight through their initial “going” culture shock. Our Missionary Care Team often hears that coming back “home” is more difficult then going away. The transition and lack of belonging creates an under-current of tension called Reverse-Culture Shock. Many missionaries when they arrive back in their home country struggle with anxiety and depression, because of the overwhelming emotions of isolation, inadequacy and constant transition. One example our team often hears about is the overwhelming choice they face in their first trip back to the grocery store. Having 30+ options to choose from for any given item from Kroger or H-E-B, can be stressful.
3. Missionaries Desire Connection — I wanted to leave this last point here to end this piece on a lighter note. The previous points should give you understanding and insight into where they are coming from, but it should not hinder the vital point of communication and connection. Although missionaries have very different life experiences and challenges from ours, they are still like us — in that they are people who are desperate for connection. As friends, family members and members of local churches, we need to recognize we give them a listening ear and connection and community. There is no way we could ever fully understand what they have experienced on the mission field, but remember it is about listening and affirming them! Ask great questions, while also being aware they might feel the need to simply their experiences their life overseas. The important thing to note is that you have so much to offer when it comes to communication and connection. We may not understand their experiences or struggles, but we can still understand their emotions. We’ve all had thoughts and feelings of discouragement, depression, inadequacy, fulfillment, and utter joy. Therefore, when we catch up with our missionary friends let us start by asking great questions, listening and resonating with where they are in their journey.

Last Tip: If you are not already on their email list for their newsletters updates, request to be included. It is good to have some background and understanding, before meeting time with them. They spend a lot of time on those by the way!

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works… Hebrews 10:24

Anyways, I hope this helps you the next time you connect with a family member, friend or church sponsored missionary over coffee. Be confident that your relationship and connection time means the world to them and they have been looking forward to the opportunity to share! Do not leave your connection time without taking full advantage of the opportunity to encourage them in the work they do!

How can I bring value to YOU?

1. If you are a missionary — or global worker currently on the mission field and this piece of content really spoke to you… we would love to connect.
2. If you are not a missionary — but are still interested in being a part of mission work or wanting to learn more about practical ways to come along side missionaries and support them … we would love to connect.
3. If your local church or small group would like to talk through some creative ways to come alongside a missionaries… we would love to connect.