Life is unexpected…
When I was a little girl, if you would have asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I would have worn my biggest smile and said proudly, “I want to be a veterinarian!” I also had dreams of being a marine biologist and a math teacher. This trend followed me into high school, where I had a chance to spend a day shadowing my local vet. It was a very rewarding experience and I actually got to be in the operating room while they worked on our family dog.
Then you know, things just change. Life hits you and sometimes, some people just have that natural knack of making each transition look easy and effortless. I have come to find out that when it really counts, I am the exact opposite… well, up until recently, that is.
Growing up I was not a popular girl. I spent most of my days playing in the creek or going on adventures in the woods behind my house. I was made fun of, terribly, and could count my friends on one hand. Sure, it bothered me, but I was able to lose myself and forget about those things when I was reading, playing outside, or even playing video games. It was an interesting time growing up and I always look back on 90’s culture with fondness.
Fast forward to 2005, the year I left that life behind. I moved to a new town and that granted me a fresh start. I was actually getting noticed and people were nice to me! Grant it, I was never ‘popular’ and I certainly did not have the monetary means to acquire a ‘comfy’ lifestyle, but I was accepted by more people than I had ever been used to.
I started experimenting with a lot of things. Drugs, people… my life was a complete mess. I had gotten arrested and suspended from school, my body was a battle field and I truly did not care about what was happening around me or how I treated others. Those were some pretty difficult times, and I look back and think how lucky I am now. I had put myself into an abundance of dangerous situations, but here I sit typing away.
So how did I get to this point? I am a mother. I am a wife and a clean, sober sensible woman. I just graduated from college with a bachelor’s in psychology. But how?
Well for one, my husband found me and decided to not give up. Now I am not saying our relationship is perfect, far from. But we understand each other and have learned to communicate. It isn’t easy being in a relationship. The first few years we spent together, I didn’t understand what it was to be in a true and loving relationship. But one night it just hit me, Joey does not think like me. He cannot read my mind and we have to work together to get things done right.
That little epiphany only happened within the past year. We have been together for seven years.
And now that I am finally in a place where I can relax and weigh my options, I have come to the ultimate conclusion that I want to do what makes me happy! I have worked my share of odd jobs and even my degree doesn’t make me fully happy. I just start thinking about those college loans and… well… lets not go there…
Joey is the part owner of a video game store and I have been helping out with accounting and organizing. It is just another thing that we have found to do together and it is going quite well.
Inspiration struck in the form of my brother(of all people!). I watch him stream on twitch and I just realized, “I could do that!”
So here I am. On the verge of finding my own niche in the world. I’m excited and a little scared. But mostly I’m ready to be happy.