Dreams

Do you ever have those dreams where you are trying to run away from something, but your legs seem to stop working? You just stand there hopeless as if your whole world is in slow motion, your body weighs one thousand pounds, and your legs are stuck in quicksand. Right when the “monster” is so close you can feel it breathing down your back, your head pops off the pillow and you find yourself in the dark, all alone, in your bedroom.

I guess that’s more like a nightmare.

Every time I wake up I turn around to see what was chasing me and find myself staring at the headboard of my bed. Over my years of dreaming, I've come to realize that everyone has a “monster” and each “monster” is as unique as the person they haunt. My “monster” is time. Psychology says that when you have these types of dreams it means you can’t keep up with all the things going on in your life. This is normal for people in high school, but at times I feel like I’m running away from my future because I’m frightened about what lies ahead. What if I never get to do what I love? At fifteen years old I feel like I’m alive, but I haven’t lived. There’s so much I have to offer and so much this world has to offer me, and I don’t have enough time to grasp it all.

People say when you get into a life threatening accident, your life flashes before your eyes. And I always think, if your whole life can flash before your eyes in just a split second, has your life really been lived? People my age have their whole future in front of them, and frankly, that scares me. I find myself running from my future, not wanting to grow up, not wanting to know the heartbreak and the failure that I’m going to endure. I wonder about what I’ll be doing twenty years from now, when I should be focusing on the present. The only person who controls your future is you; and you have to work for the things you desire. You have to learn to make your own story or else someone will write it for you. Sometimes people need to stop running from their monster and start chasing it.