The Glorious Single Life

Here’s a thought – when did being single start being perceived as such a negative thing?

I know society expects us to be part of something in order to feel whole. I know how it can feel to be part of a couple and feel like that’s where you should always have been. But I also know that being single gives you a kind of self-contained superpower and can actually be bloody wonderful.

I was messaged by a friend I haven’t seen for a while the other day. Amongst the things she asked me, one was “How’s your lovelife?” My answer was “blissfully quiet” and I mean it! That probably wasn’t the answer she was hoping for because it’s not very exciting but there it is.

Being single almost feels like something we’re meant to feel bad about, as though we’re only half a person. It garners pity from some people as though we must be utterly miserable. It also suggests there’s something wrong with us because we can’t attract a partner. That’s not true and it’s not fair!

My brother is single and looking to book a holiday soon. He’ll be going on his own which he’s fine with, but he’s having to look harder to make sure he doesn’t get stung with paying for a room for two. Fortunately some travel companies do a single person discount but surely that should be standard? It’s another way of saying ‘You should be doing this with someone else, you massive loser!!’

So what are the benefits of being single?

Well, to start off with, you can be unapologetically selfish. You can do – or not do – whatever you want. There’s no feigning interest in visiting somewhere you have literally no desire to go because your partner wants to. You can watch whatever trash tv you want and not have to justify why you like it. You can curl up on the sofa drinking wine and not have to share any! You can lie in bed and have a decadent lazy day without feeling you should be doing something else. If you’re a parent, you get your kids all to yourself (which admittedly can be a blessing and a curse!) You can drop everything for a night out with your friends. You can go out until whatever time you like without having to check in with someone. You can flirt with the handsome stranger without guilt. You can eat utter rubbish occasionally for tea just because you feel like it. And if you haven’t sat in bed in your underwear in the middle of the afternoon watching Netflix and eating Jaffa Cakes, then you’ve not lived!

For me, the best part of being single is the fact it gives me a chance to work out who I am and what I want. It also emphasises how incredibly lucky I am. I might not have a partner, but actually that hasn’t worked out too well in the past and now I get to be me in my glorious, unapologetic form. Also, I’ve been brought up with the belief that no man is better than the wrong man. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes of course I do! That’s only natural. Do I want to be single forever? Hell no! But for as long as I am single, I’m going to make the most of it.

The way I see it, most of us have loved and lost before. That’s why embracing your single self is so important now. I don’t want to keep repeating negative cycles of giving my time and love to the wrong person. I’m in a great position where I get to be picky about who I would even go on a date with, let alone welcome into my life! My best friend is getting married later this year. Initially she suggested me with a plus one. I got the invitation the other day and there was no plus one. I have to say, I was delighted and relieved. Weddings can be lonely but only if you let them. I’m going to watch my best friend marry her perfect man (actually that’s Jose Morinho, but he’s not proposed yet) with an army of friends around me. My first dance will be with my proudest achievement and it’s going to be ace!

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re missing out on life because you’re single. Own it and show them how lucky you are!