A Hot Man and a Grammar Dance-Off

I was desperate to find common ground with EP, a gorgeous Brummy, but he was grammatically challenged and I couldn’t resist a giggle.

Where we met: Match.com
Name: EP
Particulars: 34, Birmingham, No kids
Best DP: All his pictures are the same, him looking moodily off into the distance…seemingly alone but obviously posing for a friend to take a picture. He is extremely good looking though!
His Bio: ‘feel free to talk’

I have never had the confidence to partake in something as exciting as a dance-off. But being an 80’s baby and therefore having watched, ‘Step-Up’ and ‘Bring It On’ in my formative years I have always nursed a desire to settle a beef, thusly.

So far all beef I have tangled with I have done so passive-aggressively and far less flamboyantly than a dance-off requires — it genuinely saddens me to admit that. So with a penchant for the passive-aggressive and a hot man to while away the time, my first grammar dance-off began.

*Disclaimer* I am no grammatical or lexicographical acrobat! At school I was repeatedly tested for dyslexia and given computers and coloured sheets of acetate to help me, but, I thought, ‘what the hell’, I’ve downloaded Grammerly… how hard can this be…

EP

your cute

Me

No, you’re cute!

EP

Oh thanks. hows the friday. Your sweet!

Me

How’s your Saturday going? And no, you’re sweet!

He seems like a really nice guy… as far as online dating goes… I mean he is yet to ask to see my boobs, but his grammar is really bad and I was about to find out how much of a deal breaker this would be.

EP

Thanks i am blushing, any luck so far on here? As for me just few hellos and whatsups. I have not met any one on here physically, maybe our case might be different? Any special preference on your men? As for me i wont say anything goes except the fact that you fit for the position so you dont need to apply

Me

I wouldn’t make an application after only exchanging pleasantries and grammar tips.

And here endeth the flirtation. I really hope he finds a nice partner who can look past his grammar but he wasn’t for me. I’m looking for the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with… and I’m hoping that’s going to include many a night of Scrabble and Bananagrams.

Final advice for EP: stop contracting ‘you are’ you’re really bad at it.