How To Turn Over A New Leaf Overnight
I’m currently sat here thinking to myself “lol why are you up at 2:37 am?” . Everyone seems to think that once the clock strikes 2 in the morning you automatically start contemplating the meaning of life and shit, as if it’s some sort of spell cast over you. I can honestly say that, yes, sometimes you have deep thoughts (if you’re not stuffing your face, binge-watching trashy TV or lost in your music that is) but it’s definitely not an every night thing (that would probably fry your brain and make you cry).
In case you’re wondering, 1. No I’m not having one of those nights (I’m actually shuffling through my Spotify playlists) and 2. I’m up because I have a sleeping problem (this is normal for me, I swear) but, I am half-thinking about what I decided to do the other night.
The other night wasn’t really an ‘overthinking in bed’ night, but a thought did spring to mind;
“Why are you being so bitchy lately?”
This wasn’t one of those everyday sort of ‘oh-you’re-being-a-little-bitch-lately blah blah blah ’ thoughts, it was a genuine ‘why-the-hell-are-you-pushing-people-who-care-about-you-away-and-acting-so-stupid-lately’ sort of thought. And that probably hit me very late (maybe even too late) but with everything thats happened, it hadn’t really clicked until then.
I was definitely sat there for a good half an hour just pissed off. Who was I pissed off with? None other than myself. It had taken me a good part of a month to realise this and there was pretty much nothing I could do to fix this.
That moment of being pissed off with myself made me realise;
“hey, YOU can change this, so man the F up and do it.”
And that is exactly what I did.
So I’m sat here now writing this at 3:01 am (I really like awkward times don’t I) and realising that anyone can change anything about their life at anytime if they really want to.
It reminds me of this post I read on Tumblr once.
There’s not much stopping you from changing your ways except you. Like they say, “you are your greatest enemy”. In most cases you are the only thing between where you are and where you want to be, what you want and what you have, everything else you believe is “in the way” is either in your head or an excuse you’re stopping yourself with because you’re scared.
There’s no denying change is scary. No doubt (and this coming from someone who has been scared for a good 2 years about dying her hair brown but finally did it and regrets not doing it sooner) but sometimes change is needed. Change is what makes a person grow and without it, you wouldn’t been who you are today. It’s about finding the strength to take the plunge and change for YOURSELF, not for anyone else. Just you. You’re allowed to be a little selfish after all.
Honestly, try getting out of bed tomorrow morning and changing one thing. It could be the smallest thing like planning to drink more water or something major like quitting a bad habit. I can almost guarantee you it will make your life better.