Thank you for this Colette. That process of going across can change so quickly from what you thought it would look like.

I wonder how you felt at the wedding of your young cousin. I went to a family wedding last September, just a little over a year after my brother was killed by a drunk driver. Sitting outdoors in the ridiculously beautiful afternoon sun, surrounded by flowers and green mountains and gloriousness, I suddenly knew one reason why people cry at weddings. At least I knew why I was crying. Because the bride and groom were so hopeful and new and innocent, and I didn’t want anything to happen to them, ever. I could not reconcile what happened to my brother with my memory of his delightful wedding, a day when everything seemed possible and life looked as though it would never be sullied by pain or loss.

I know too much, now, about what can happen to people. It makes moments of happiness and beauty that much more precious. I am working on living those moments fully, trying not to let the cloud of the possible future pass over the golden sun of the present.