Boy, do I hate formal e-mails

I'm laughing to myself writing this, I don't even know how to make it look like a planned-out piece with an important meaning. Here's what happened, essentially:

Me@OTP (not the shipping kind, the financial institution kind): Hey, my name is X and my client code is Y and I just noticed my Netflix got put on hold because of a transaction error, but I know for sure I have money on my card, why is that?

OTP@me:

Dear Ms. X,

We inform you that you can now officially execute transactions towards the trader "Netflix" (I can not express how much weirder this originally sounded, it was in Romanian). We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.

I stopped reading after that, because I hate this sort of thing. It feels dehumanizing, like I'm not talking to a real person, nor am I one. Not to mention, as someone who can't master formal e-mails for the life of me, it sounds patronizing as hell. Like imagine if a conversation between you and your mom went like this:

"Hey mom, can I sleep at Sarah's over the weekend?"

"Dear offspring,

Your inquiry has been registered and is now in the process of being taken into consideration. Expect an answer by the 1800th hour tomorrow. Be aware that the decision will be influenced by a variety of factors such as whether or not your presence and assistance on Saturday will be deemed necessary."

(Instead of, you know, "I'll tell you tomorrow evening when I know for sure I won't need you on Saturday")

Would you ever ask her anything again?

It's alienating, and for some of those of us with anxiety, particularly of the social kind, very much the same as "Oh my god, look at this idiot. Okay, fine, I've dealt with your shit, get outta here."

So, petition to forever get rid of formal e-mails so that I can pretend to have known the person at the other end forever and avoid sounding like I've never talked to a human being before in an attempt to not be inappropriate.

Please?